I'm watching Hoarders. Mostly because nothing else is on. According to Wikipedia, most hoarders are men, but I think all the ones I've ever seen on this show are women hoarders. (And I'll tell you right now, it's definitely not because TLC is pushing the T&A for the young adult male audience.) Though I've only seen maybe 4 episodes.

I wish I could say that everything I have in my apartment serves a purpose. I have this efficient, minimalist ideal in my head that I think I inherited from my mother, but I also have a hard time throwing out old books I've read, which sounds like my dad's influence. I also tend to save gifts even if they have no use to me. That might be out of guilt. And I find that I can easily throw out any books if I can keep the digital Kindle version, so now my book collection is actually shrinking. It's like I have this fear that I might want to randomly look up something in an old book I've read. Though I don't think that's honestly ever happened. Every quotable thing is already on the internet, and I don't have gobs of time to sit and re-experience old books.

Ha! Now Toddlers & Tiaras is on. Some show about little kid beauty pageants. TLC FTW! It's a little weird to tell your 7 year old kid to be flirty and sexy. But if you don't push too hard, that's probably better for the kid than sitting them in front of the Jersey Shore or other reality tv influences. Most of the kids in this episode at least seem to be fairly happy. Besides, I think Britney Spears grew up doing these pageants, and she used to be well balanced.

I should find something useful to do.

Update. Now watched the whole episode and I take it back. This should be illegal. It's kinda funny and cute or whatever when the parents are practicing with kids at home, but everything changes when they put these kids in makeup on a stage and make them strut back and forth. Something very unsettling about it. And kids grow up in that environment, don't they? There's a 3 year old league, 4-5, 6-7, 8-9... it just keeps going. The 3 year olds are disturbing because they're showing a bare midriff while being dragged around stage by a parent, and the 9 year olds are disturbing because they're like miniature people!

I also tend to think kids should try not get emotionally invested in competition before high school. Kid life should be carefree.

I'm thinking of selling my couch and loveseat and getting one of those light gaming chairs that sit on the floor instead. Something like this one. It may look kinda silly when you walk into my living room and instead of a couch I only have a little chair sitting on the floor. But I rarely get visitors, I almost never sit sideways on the couch, and these couches will slow me down when I look for a new apartment.

Speaking of which, I'm not entirely sure what to do about moving. The new rules at work indicate that they'll let you move wherever you want, but they may adjust your locality pay accordingly. (The DC locality pay is 23%.) I want to wait and see how exactly they're implementing that. But I also want to get out of my apartment. Management has increased my rent by the legal maximum, which I do not appreciate, and is simultaneously offering a $200 discount if you recommend a new tenant. So I would like to get out of here ASAP and hopefully stick it to the man with a pricey apartment they will have trouble filling. Punitive relocation. That's how I roll.

Watching Runaway Train. I started out having no idea what the movie was about. Instantly my expectations were lowered to the ground by over-acting and cliche prison boxing scenes. Then Jon Voight stepped in and saved this movie. And then it was fantastic.

If you look on amazon.com for Driver San Francisco for the ps3, apparently my review is the only negative one there. And game fans are hating it. Every few days I get an email from amazon saying there's been another angry comment on my review. It's keeping me mildly entertained.

I've sorta loss steam with this blog after watching a King of the Hill episode where Hank is forced to read an employee's exhaustive blog about every petty issue in her self-centered life. "It's no wonder she didn't get any work done!"

I spent a long weekend driving around Texas. Texas, where the weather is beautifully warm and the highways have unavoidable surprise tolls. I dig that southern hospitality too. People say it's a fake niceness, but at least they pretend to be nice! Try to talk to a clerk in DC and you'll get nothing but passive hostility.

I got pulled over by a cop because the ticket I had wasn't the right ticket to get through an automatic toll. So I had to back up and find a new lane and the cop thought I was backing up too far. He didn't give me a ticket though, just stopped me and checked my license through his computer. Luckily he didn't notice that "must wear glasses" provision on the back of my license because I definitely wasn't wearing them at the time. (I really only need them at night, and when I'm trying to read signs.)

I have a new grey hair. This one is on the side of my head and is not very flattering. I'm not happy about it.

More later.

I'm watching The Family Stone. It's sorta like Meet the Parents except the family is super liberal and the guest girl is very up tight. I saw it in the theater with my family 5 years ago and enjoyed it then. Upon a second watching I'm not so sure.

The family in this movie is ridiculous. The mother tells one son that this year's Christmas will not be clothing-optional because they have guests. Umm, gross. Thank goodness. There's an 8 year old granddaughter walking around and you're going to have a clothing optional Christmas?? And then the mother makes condescending remarks about their guest being silly when she says she'd be uncomfortable sharing a bed with her boyfriend in the boyfriend's parents' house. Have a little empathy. I've never met a family that gossips and makes fun of someone behind their back to this extent. Even the grandparents in this family are like little kids.

Sarah Jessica Parker does make some bad moves. She stiffly holds out a hand to everyone she meets like it's a diplomatic event. She speaks really loudly at the deaf brother (though to be fair, I'd probably just not talk to him because that'd be so easy to mess that up). And she makes an insensitive comment about gay parents hoping for straight kids. She immediately starts backpedaling afterwards but that doesn't work. This would cause a awkward silence at most tables, and the gay son was a bit offended, but instead the grandparents start yelling. Sarah Jessica Parker keeps trying to backpedal until finally grandpa bangs his hand on the table for silence. This whole family is out of control.

I don't think my dad has ever banged his hand on the table, actually I can't even remember a time that he's yelled because he was angry. Maybe that's why I have so little patience for impotent outbursts of anger. I'll tell you right now, if anyone ever bangs their hand on the table, I am out of there. I will not be bullied into silence by anyone's childish hand banging. Well, I guess I would be, but I would also immediately leave in silence. Always have an exit strategy.

(talking about the groom's brother at a wedding. I'd been the only one to meet him.)
Lauren: Is Dave short?
me: Umm, he has the proportions of normal man.
Kristen: What, you mean he's not a hobbit?

My hair stylist yesterday said that she could tell from the texture of my hair that I'll have a full head of hair until I'm 50. Score! At this rate though that'll be my greatest achievement as a 50 year old. I just have to hope that men continue to be self-conscious about their hairlines and that there are no new breakthroughs in hair rejuvination medicine in the next 20 years, then I'll be sitting pretty.

The work calls to me. Another 58 hours!