It's the middle of the night and somehow got stuck watching this tv show called Property Virgins, it's about people buying their first home. (No, I am not shopping for a house.) I honestly think that realtors are the scum of the earth, and the lady who hosts this show is no exception. Everything about her is fake, from her smile to her tan, and I wouldn't trust anything she says.

Why even use a realtor? I guess they might have access to more listings, but there should be some other service to get around that. A good database and we'll make that entire industry obsolete. Really the realtor just tries to sell you on aspects of a house that you don't care about, convince you to ignore aspects you are concerned about and then does some questionable double-dealing when you're bidding on the house. Bidding through a realtor is like playing poker from the couch in another room, with an intermediary walking back and forth telling you what's going on. They tell you to trust them, but there's no attorney-client privilege or doctor-patient confidentiality. They're salesmen. It's like confiding in a used car salesman with your budget and concerns, and expecting him to keep your best interests in mind.

I should add that to my online dating profile when I sent one up. I don't have a lot of strict requirements, but no smokers, no druggies, no realtors.

(part of an email from a girl I knew in jr high)
Sarah R: I looked at all the old yearbooks the other day with my husband. He remembers your older sister from high school. Looking back I'm sort of mad. In eighth grade Matt Luther and I got voted most likely to eat free, and they took our picture with us standing around a garbage can. Like we eat trash?