I hate shopping for shoes. You'd think it wouldn't be too bad because shopping online lets you see hundreds of different shoes and filter by style, size and color. But it still sucks because the current state of the shoe industry sucks.

I would wear normal business shoes like a regular adult but they are so, unbelievably uncomfortable. It's like walking in wooden Holland shoes. I'd have to become one of those people who take their shoes off in the office or at someone else's house as soon as they arrive. Yuck.

There was an episode of Grosse Point where the main actress, who was always mean and condescending toward everyone, had to gain a bunch of weight for a movie role. Suddenly she became super friendly and was asking production assistants' names and doing favors and stuff. The staff decided that she had always just been hungry. I'd be like that. Gone would be the friendly, witty, Joe, instead I'd be thinking all the time about how much my feet are killing me. And you can forget walking around DC. I'd be cabbing everywhere.

Running shoes on the other hand are super comfortable, but any one can tell with a glance that they're running shoes because they all conform to that distinct sneaker look with bright colors and fancy tread. Even if you try to compensate by wearing a suit or something it'll look silly. People will think you're wearing a swimming suit underneath to head out to the beach after work. Why can't they try to disguise running shoes as something more formal? I'm not to impress fellow athletes with the style of my shoe. They should make running shoes for non-athletes. I'm not running anywhere, I'm just trying to get through my day.

And why the heck do shoes all cost so much? $100 for a pair of shoes that aren't Nike pumps and it isn't 1991??? Crazy! Where is the money going? I should start a shoe company.