Wednesday, February 27, 2008

a coke catastrophe

Listening to Warp 11's song Section 31. It's sort of a imitation of the 007 theme, but with a trek twist. It reminds me of that Next Gen episode where the Klingons and the Federation are doing and officer exchange program to learn more about each other's cultures so they placed Riker as an officer on a Klingon ship and received a Klingon officer (who turns out to be Worf's brother) on the Enterprise. It was a great episode. The first thing Riker did when he got to the ship was beat up a huge Klingon soldier who was questioning his authority, because that's what Klingons do. Then there was some emergency and Riker ended up totally taking command of the Klingon ship and saving the Enterprise. The Klingon crew totally respected him by the end of the episode and Piccard was all startled when he thought the Klingon ship might attack them so he hailed the ship and Riker showed up on the view screen sitting in the captain's chair and smirking. Such a great show.

I was just listening to Lewis Black while I did some work, and drinking a coke with my feet up on my desk at the same time. Apparently it's a bad combination because Lewis Black said something really funny and I started laughing with coke in my mouth. With my laidback posture I somehow enhaled it all. Next thing I know I'm doubled over coughing up coke onto the office floor and gasping for air. Got coke all over my pants and shirt too. I was gasping for a good 30 seconds. My officemate was worried he was going to have to come over and perform the hemilich maneuver, something I'm glad he didn't try to do.

(from a forum about the movie "Meet the Spartans". A sequel to "Epic Movie" and even the preview looks horrible)
"The only good that will come from this movie is that it will herd anyone dumb enough to pay to see it into a single area (the theatre) so that we can plan for extermination."

Monday, February 25, 2008

catching up

Okay, I just down'd a cup of coffee so I'm all hyped up this afternoon. First some work stuff because I'm thinking about it: I think I'm gonna reject this case, but I know for a fact that the guy will appeal it if I do. So I have to balance how embarassing I'm willing to look infront of my supervisor against whether I'm technically correct for this case. My reference has a computer technican doing a bunch of the work and I'm not completely sure whether the reference works as a "diagnostic engine" without the technican helping it along. I know for a fact that the attorney is going to write into his appeal something snide to the effect of me trying to bring back slavery by including the person in this patented computer system. ("The examiner contends that the technician is part of the claimed computer system. Perhaps the examiner is expecting the technician to be black?" Hardy har har.)

Went to a party at Eric's on friday. It was a pretty good time. I was worried at first because it was just me, Eric and Jason. And Jason is the only one of Eric's friends who I absolutely dislike. But more people showed up and it was fun. Jamie gave me a nice lecture about how real men drive cars. (Unlike myself.) Other than that it was a quiet weekend of mostly playing videogames instead of doing the work I should be doing. Bad time management, but it was worth it! I got a sword of fire+3!!!! Haha, just kidding.

The weekend before last I went out to Colorado, and I meant to write about it but never got around to it last week. It was lots of fun though and the weather was very reasonable. Very reasonable in that it wasn't super freezing cold and snowing the entire time I was there. Kate and I saw the Spidewick Chronciles, which she thought was good but I was annoyed by the main kid actor. It's funny, I thought both the brother actors were about equally annoying, and then I read just now that it was one actor playing both brothers. Surprise. Annoying Brit kids... My second cousin's name is Brit, btw, and he is so much cooler than any of the real Brits. Nick Nolte was pretty good as the creepy, raggedy ogre-man.

Let's see, we also went to a hockey game. My first hockey game, and felt like I was about to fall down the bleachers anytime I stood up because we were so high up and the seating was so vertical. The local team (the avalanch?) got slaughtered, and all the local fans were kinda depressed, but I got a big plate of nachos and a pretty good hot dog. It was better than a baseball or basketball game, and about on par with a football game (there were more fights in the hockey game, but much more heckling at a Raiders game). As a side note: Kate's sister, who took us to the game, is really quite funny.

Finally, Kate helped me pick out a pair of jeans. I don't have any other jeans and haven't shopped for them in years because they never seem to fit correctly. Kate liked a pair that were tighter than any other pants I own, so I'm mostly only going to wear them around her I think. She's going to be upset when she reads that, but look I just said "mostly"! I might wear them around dc but, even if not, it was a purchase that will be very useful for Colorado. Last thing: airport security likes my shirts. I've gotten like 3 compliments now. Twice for Eeyore and now once for "I slept with Kirk". If only I was looking to pick up nerdy airport security girls.

Kate: Don't make fun of me.. I bought the exact same pair of shoes that I had before.
me: I did the exact same thing a little while ago!
Kate: Yeah, but my shoes are cute.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


It's Sunday and I'm in the office. That's not the worst part though. The guy in the office nextdoor is also in, and he's spent the whole 3 hours i've been in here yelling on the phone. Jeez, enough already. Can't you confine the yelling to regular business hours? I didn't come in here to listen to your domestic squabbling on the phone. Silly new employees. I may be argumentative, but at least I don't resort to yelling louder to make my points. You all can thank me for that later. Time to turn on some loud Me First.

(a viewer's review of "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale", a videogame-based film that has gotten universally negative reviews. Uwe Boll, the director/producer, likes to take videogames and make horrible movies out of them.)
"I went to this movie expecting the worst. Because of Uwe Ball's previous work I was a little hesitant. Oh how I was wrong! The story is about a man named "Farmer" who has to run around all day killing people to save his beloved wife. Oh how he loves her so very much! You will never forget the courage, the bravery, the love in this film. Not to forget the special effects and dramatic action! Uwe Bell has truly changed the way I will look at life, and I'm certain he will do the same for you. Hollywood will change because of this film. The impact it has on you, oh dear lord thank you, thank you for everything! Be sure to take all your friends and loved ones to see this movie, I'm sure after the 2 hours 30 minutes they will thank you."

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Eventually I would get tired of talking about Nazis

Today I sat behind a bunch of chicks on the metro who were babbling on in German or Dutch or something. They weren't abnormally tall or putting on totally weird foreign facial expressions or anything (as foreigners often do), they just seemed like normal college girls who just happened to be speaking German. Had they not been talking, I would have said they were very borderline hot or not-hot girls. The "I could go either way" type. So I spent the whole train ride leering at them and considering whether the foreign language pushed any of them over the edge into being definitely attractive or unattractive. I decided it was closer to unattractive. Sorry German-speaking chick readers.

(from a viewer's review of "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale")
"It was all right, if you're in an undemanding mood. The dialogue was awful. Scenes where a mother was told her child and parents had just been killed and the death of the King in particular produced howls of laughter, which I don't believe was the intended effect."