Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'm back from, as my sister described it, the "black hole" of communication that is my parents house. Spotty cellphone reception, no internet connection, like 2 tv channels, and an 8 minute drive into a small town or 15 minute drive to the nearest reasonable-sized town. Luckily the electricity didn't go out for any extended periods, like it has in the past. One time in high school it went out for 4 days, just because a branch fell on the power lines on our street and the power company was too busy with problems in more populated areas.

Anyway, it was a pretty quiet, relaxing vacation. I saw a few high school friends, and my entire family including new in-laws and my new niece.

After hearing the song "New York I Love You" in a clothing store, I went and checked out the album (by LCD Soundsystem). Perhaps not surprisingly, that song is totally unlike every other song on the album. Instead of soft and melodic, every other song is a nasty combiation of ska and funk and I can't resist hitting skip after 20 seconds. Deleted.

Happy New Year!

(from a review of the Path of Neo. In the game you get to pick new skills to learn after each stage, but occasionally you're only given one skill option.)
"What is the point of giving me one, I repeat ONE, skill to pick from at the end of a stage? What do the developers expect me to do, not pick it for the sake of variety? It feels like election day in a totalitarian dictatorship."

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Working super late tonight because my flight is early in the morning and all this stuff is going to be due. Blah. And I'm still kinda sick. Not at sick as Kate, but that's probably because I got her sick in the first place. (Though she did think that she was going to get healthy before me just because I have to keep working through my sickness. But I showed her!) Merry Christmas people! So long, East coast! I'll be back just before New Years Eve.

(responding to a poster who complained that he'd rather install offical DRM than go to a sketchy torrent site and downloading software that does who-knows-what to his computer)
Wex: There is a difference between going to a proper site and getting a torrent hundreds of people already tested, and going to a "XXX BRITNEY NAKED! WAREZ! RINGTONES!" site to get infected. If you know where and how you surf you don't get exposed to malware. And whoever doesn't should first pirate a good antivirus.

Monday, December 8, 2008

I'm eating a little of the turkey kate very kindly brought me back from her thanksgiving. I'm not sure how long turkey keeps, so if you don't hear from me again you know what happened. Kate was a little surprised earlier when she saw I still hadn't eaten it. It smells good anyway. Why can't all food be like rice, where if it's bad then it turns different colors. Instead you have to be some kind of food connoisseur to figure it out with turkey.

(quote pending)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I went to Ravi Shah's wedding in Florida last weekend. It was a good time but now I'm sick. Either it was the lack of sleep, the drinking every night, constantly eating Indian food, or sharing a room with Eric, but for whatever reason I'm now sick, and it's no good. Kate thinks I get sick 3 weeks before the end of every quarter (because of stress or guilt), but I haven't noticed that pattern. I'll make sure to keep track from now on. Is it possible to get sick 4 times a year?

I fell asleep in my office chair, for the first time in like a year (my officemate had already gone home so it was okay). I blame my lapse on the sickness. But anyway, there's something about sleeping in that chair that causes really disturbing dreams. This is like the third time that I've dreamed (dreamt?) I was under anesthesia on the operating table or in a dentist's chair and totally unable to move. It's a little disturbing.

Eric thinks reusing water bottles will give you cancer. Hmm, lots of webpages about this. Ususally he accuses me of being a conspiracy theorist but lots of hippie webpages and conspiracy theorist webpages that agree with him. I was going to site a bunch but that's too much trouble. I figure that these bottles don't have expiration dates on them so you don't know how long it's been sitting on the store's shelf before you drink it. There's no reason that you'll be drinking more plastic when you're actually changing the water than when the water is just sitting and marinating the plastic.

(I think we split a toothbrush double-pack from target)
me: Whoops, did I just use your toothbrush?
Kate: Umm, no, that one's mine. (shrugs)
me: Whew. I was about to induce vomiting.
Kate: Just like I want to every time you kiss me.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

This morning I watched a bit of the movie In the Valley of Elah. Good movie. They should just make a movie called "Tommy Lee Jones Investigates Murder" because I'd watch that too. He makes one good cop.

Also this morning I blew some fuse somewhere while changing a dead lightbulb and now none of my lights work. Also one outlet died, though all the others are still okay. Here's hoping I haven't done major electrical damage to an old house.

And in other news, they've decided to release a juvenile delinquent in my neighborhood who likes to knock pedestrians over and steal their stuff. But I'm sure he's learned his lesson this time.

(from a Microsoft employee's blog about an internal memo recommending against the viewing or searching of patents)
I was confused by this guidance till I wrote and reviewed one of my own patents. The legal claims section--the only section that counts--was indecipherable by anyone but a patent attorney. Ignorance is bliss and strongly recommended when it comes to patents.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Gone to too many concerts and events to comment on them all here. This thing isn't getting updated as often as it once was. Saw Electric 6 and the Local H with Rachel, and then saw Umphrey's McGee with Mark. Both were pretty decent. But now I'm tired of standing, listening to too-loud music, and ending the night feeling disgusting because you've been standing too close to smokers. I need to see a good moshing-type concert next.

Metro is recommending that everyone within 2 miles walk to Inauguration instead of trying to take the overcrowded metro trains. They better have cops down there yelling at people or there will definitely be doors breaking as tourists repeatedly hold them open and squeeze through. It's going to be chaos. Unfortunately I live about 3 miles from the capitol, so I probably wouldn't walk. But to compensate, I'm giving a discount to my renters. Site this blog entry and get a special deal of just $100/night to stay on my couch. Though if you look sketchy I'm not even opening the gate for you, so keep that in mind.

(carrying Kate's suitcase. It's a little heavy but I'm very manly and strong)
kate: Will you be alright with that?
me: Of course! What kind of man do you think I am!?!
(slight pause)
kate: A monkey!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Just pulled the old print-and-leave trick on my officemate. You set your computer to print a few dozen pages and then ditch the now-noisy office to go buy coffee or visit a coworker. My officemate does it occasionally, but I tend to use the group printer (which you can't hear because it's in another room) instead. Every time he leaves the office and then his printer starts making noises I think "Oh you sneaky bastard!" So this time I pulled it on him. It's the little things that make this office interesting.

(Sometimes I read the nonsense on Slashdot. This is from an article about new power plants in development that vaporize trash to produce energy)
CubicleView: This solves nothing, once we hit peak trash production then we'll be screwed all over again.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Listening to Bishop Allen at work and thinking that their song "Click Click Click Click" (not to be confused with the New Kids on the Block song of almost the same title) is kinda like that movie Wedding Crashers, but without the sex. The narrator runs into a wedding celebration to get out of the rain and finds himself having a good time just because everyone else is so happy.

It reminds me of going to parties at Josh's old house, when he and his neighbor would coordinate to have their house parties on the same nights, and then at some point I'd wander over to the neighbor's and they'd have lots of people crowded around one beer pong table in the basement. Nobody cared who you were (the average age was probably 5 years older than me but it was too dark down there to tell). They only cared that you were either good at beer pong, or good at heckling (I, fortunately, am good at both), and that you were having a good time. Man, those were good parties.

I know that nobody likes reading about someone else talking about music they don't listen to, much like listening to someone ramble on about a dream they had, but I'll write something more interesting next time.

(Playing Palin bingo while watching the VP nominees debate. After Sarah Palin repeately describes herself and McCain as mavericks.)
me: Man, I wish I had two Mavericks!
kate: I wish I had a whole sheet of Mavericks! I'd have won by now.
me: You can't say that, after I say I wish I had two Mavericks.
kate: Why not? I just one up'd you.
me: You're not supposed to do that! You're supposed to have my back.. You're supposed to be supporting my jokes!
kate: What? We're a team! You set 'em up, I knock 'em down! You set the ball, and I spike it!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Saw the Mountain Goats last night with Eric. It was a pretty disappointing show. They now have a drummer, who I don't think adds anything except noise to the songs, and the co-singer seemed more annoying than usual too. The best songs of the show were the 2 or 3 that John Darnielle performed alone. He did a broad mixture of really new stuff (that he collaborated on with this extremely short guitarist Kaki King), really old stuff that is decent, and only a little of the newer stuff that I like the most. He only played 2 or 3 songs off the newest album, instead promoting this new EP (of questionable quality) he did with Kaki King (though I don't think anyone at the concert appreciated the overly-long guitar instrumentals). He didn't play the Alphonse Mambo, which is the song I always hope for. That and a cover of the Sign.

Also briefly went to my co-worker Paul's birthday in St Ex. I'm not a big fan of the basement of St Ex, it gets way too noisy and stuffy in there. And slightly too dark with the tv sets casting weird shadows. If feels like there should be a fight club down there instead.

(me on the phone with my mom)
me: Do you know the results of that proposition about giving animals more space?
mom: (to my dad) Peter, what were the results of that chicken proposition?
(a pause)
mom: It passed. Your father says the people voted for animal rights and against human rights.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

For Halloween I dressed as a cowboy and Kate was a cute lobster. Sadly, I didn't remember to get any photos. But we went to a quiet party at Val's and had a good time.

Yesterday I went to a "trivia" event at Fado's with Rachel, Kate, and some of Kate's friends. It was okay. I think we did the worst of all the trivia teams, though I'm not sure why. Maybe DC bar people are smarter than you'd think.

Surf over to Rachel's Tumblr for a photo of my sweet new cowboy hat.

Tonight we find out election results. We'll see how it goes. Kate is all worried, but I'm pretty confident that Obama will get the majority vote and majority of electorates.

(from a forum)
Edi: This discussion is also moving to territory where it might as well soon be shut down because it's not going to be productive in any way if things continue in the same vein.
Innocence: Excuse me, but do you own this forum? You seem very eager to shut down this discussion on the general principle that you find it tedious I've stated a new important issue about this case, and yes, you're probably right that it wont change their descision, but please let other people have their say before you cry out, demanding the discussion be shut down.
JimMorrison: Edi is a hard man, and these forums need discipline, something their mother never gave them.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

(this post has been edited of some potentially insensitive commentary)

Yesterday I had to drive out to UPS to pick up a package. That place is so far out there. Also, I rented a mini cooper zipcar for the first time. On the one hand, it's kinda fun driving such a small car and it steers well. On the other hand, you can feel every single bump in the road right on your ass, the breaks are clingy (after you let up the pedal, it slowly releases the break), and it doesn't accelerate right away. The acceleration is the most annoying part. If you suddenly want to accelerate, you have to anticipate a 1 or 2 second delay after you hit the gas while the car changes gears and then attempts to accelerate. I only got honked at once. Oh, also the radio controls are spread all up and down the middle of the dash. It took me most of my trip before I figured out how to turn the radio off.

Also yesterday, Fedex botched my delivery. The dumbass delivery guy just left the package on my porch where someone else cut the box open and wandered away with my item. Nobody signed for it or anything, so I called up Amazon and they gave me a refund on the item with very little hassle. Good old amazon. I just wish they'd consolidate items so that I'd have fewer boxes to hunt down. My last order they split up and shipped through UPS, USPS, and FedEX. If it was just one box I might stay and meet the delivery guy, but I'm not taking 3 days off work.

(from an AP politics article)
For the robocalls to be effective, the Republicans would need Bill Ayers to plant bombs today and not when Barack Obama was 8 years old. They need Ayers to plant bombs in key states right now with stickers on them that say: “I am Barack Obama, and I endorse this bomb.”

Friday, September 26, 2008

Short post becase I'm pretty busy with the end of the fiscal year at work.

I just discovered that we get an extra day off work in January for the presidental stuff right after MLK day. Hello 4 day weekend!

Some news articles I found interesting this morning:
Facebook profiles reveal users' narcissism
(This is definitely true. I can sometimes tell by a facebook profile what I'll think of someone I'm going to meet.)
Workspace reveals political leanings
(Apparently I lean right, because my workspace is super organized and tidy. Though this is in contrast to my very messy apartment, so I'm not sure how that works.)

More next week. Tonight I'm going to see Kathy Griffin with Kate. Should be fun, I like her standup routines that I've heard on cd and that tv show was hilarious back when I had tv.

(from a column in an Alaskan paper)
I thought of that moment when it was announced that Sarah Palin's unmarried 17-year-old daughter was pregnant. But she can't be. Isn't her mother big on that abstinence-only sex education stuff?

Friday, September 12, 2008

(originally written 9/12/08 but left unposted)
I think the FCC should make a new law where if you say anything factually incorrect on tv, or something legally correct but a moderately stupid person would be mis-lead into believing something inaccurate, then you have to pay a huge fine. Too many dumb Americans believe anything they're told by people on tv. And at this rate McCain is going to win his election by mischaracterizing and outright lying, just by banking on the gullibility of the majority. The FCC should just acknowledge that people are gullible, and it's no longer legal to take advantage of them. The same goes for lying cellphone/electronics/car salesmen who promise things that aren't true.

(I run into Josh in the pantry at work)
me: next month I'm moving into an apartment that's 2 blocks from you.
Josh: that is unacceptable! We can't have this kind of trash moving into the neighborhood!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Is it just me, or is xkcd in a slump lately? The past few have been completely unfunny. I think he's running out of material. I never really liked the ones that start out "My Hobby:" then doing something weird. Please. Nobody has that many hobbies.

Last weekend was Kate R's going away party and my sister from NYC visited. I wandered out and met her at a super loud bar in Adams Morgan and she and Doug got brunch the next day with me and Kate. I was only mildy worried about Kate and Doug not liking each other, but it turns out they got along just fine. And the breakfast food at BusBoys & Poets isn't great. At least the egg burrito isn't. Actually I think I still have half of that in my fridge. I wonder if it's still okay to eat.

(after I make a degrading comment about Spittle's powder coating side-business on his facebook page)
Spittle: I'd appreciate you not bashing my new business on my own website!

Friday, September 5, 2008

I wish places had heated milk to add to your coffee. I'm kinda sensitive to caffine so I douse my cup of coffee in about half the cup of skim milk (I used to use half and half until I started worrying about my heart). With cold milk, like they keep downstairs, my coffee ends up just slightly warm instead of piping hot like i'd prefer. Slightly warm coffee is really kind of disgusting :( I should walk down to Starbucks.

I'm wearing my "Born to Code" GWU computer science t-shirt to work today. Some kid in the elevator was impressed that I went to GWU. That's the first time that's happened. I never thought it was a very impressive school. One of my coworkers likes to brag that he went to an ivy league school, but it's some school that I've never heard of so it doesn't seem possible that it's really ivy league. You'd think that, 5 years after graduating, it would be unimportant by now.

I just got an apartment in Columbia Heights. I think it's about twice as big as my current apartment, though the ceilings are low, sorta like the City Hall dorm back at school. And it's not super expensive. I think it will work out well. I'll have a kitchen and I'll be able to walk to Kate's place!

My sister Lauren is visiting dc this weekend. We'll see how it goes.

(slashdot user's advice about a news story that facebook is tracking all your actions even when you're not logged in. Some people have suggested regularly deleting your internet cookies as a solution.)
Fry all your cookies, but if you share an email address between your Facebook account and someone else, say Amazon, they can connect the dots that way. Thankfully I didn't register my Facebook account with my Hotmail only-for-the-porn account. That could've made for some interesting advertising though...

Thursday, September 4, 2008

(originally written 9/4/08 but unpublished)
I've never placed a bet with a professional organization before, but if there was a way I could bet on "either Sarah Palin withdraws her name from as McCain's VP, or if she sticks it out then he loses the election" I would bet a bunch of money on that.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Saw the Dark Knight finally with Kate. I thought it was quite good, much better than Ironman or Superman Returns or any other newer comic movie. Kate was scared and jumped around in her chair anytime something startling happened. I guess It was pretty heavy for a PG-13 movie.

We had dinner and drinks with Puja and Sunjeev, and I learned that there is still another layer of intrigue in the story of how Puja and Sunjeev met. What this new layer will reveal, I do not yet know, it's almost like a tv episode. Also I had a mojito for the first time and it was delicious, though expensive. I'll have to get the ingredients and start making them myself.

I've been working on a case where I've needed to do a little research on the use of ALU accumulators. I wish I could retake my old microprocessors class today, I'd be so good at assembly programming. I don't know why it all seemed so confusing at the time.

After walking aroud Mt Pleasant, I'm thinking of trying to move out there. The streets are nice and green. You can almost feel the negative ions in the air.

whitney: did you tell her i like joe mcmahan?
joe: no
joe: who's that?
whitney: my kenya buddy
joe: oh you like that blond joe guy?
whitney: ya.
whitney: blonde joe
whitney: cute
joe: huh. if you say so
whitney: he says he loves me
joe: aww
whitney: :)
whitney: yes...(sigh)
whitney: i say...well okay.
whitney: but buy me stuff to prove it

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Watched Gone Baby Gone a couple nights ago. Pretty good movie. You could tell it was written by a guy because the female lead basically manages to be horribly unsubtle and mess up every single "play it cool" moment, and then she emotionally (and perhaps unrealistically) freaks out at the end. About half way through the movie I started wondering why the main character was dragging his girlfriend around with him to his shady meetings. That part was a little contrived. Ed Harris has a ridiculous haircut, trying to look more like a cop I guess. Casey Affleck is so much easier to watch than Ben Affleck. So much. He kinda looks like the kid from Malcolm in the Middle, but that doesn't bother me. All in all, pretty decent movie. I wonder whether Ben Afflick is really a good director or if directing is just much easier than everyone thinks it is. Or maybe he just got lucky, it's hard to believe that he's good at something.

(Quark talking to Worf)
"You know what I like about Klingon stories, Commander? Nothing. Lots of people die, and nobody makes any profit."

Friday, August 15, 2008

No more titles for me, I've moved past that. My dad sent me a link today to Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It's kinda funny. Neil Patrick Harris being weird. Skip to the song at 3:55 if it gets too slow for you.

Also, what's up with the facebook walls never being available when I try to write a comment? It always takes at least two tries. Something isn't right with those things.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I swear I would join a fight club if getting my ass kicked would help me get to sleep at night. I'm so tired of this cycle of waking up exhausted, soaking myself in caffine to be productive at work, and then not being able to sleep at night.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

location, location, location

It's been about a week since my last update and a lot has happened.

Firstly, and most importantly, I just discovered that the lunch cafeteria across the street from my office has a breakfast buffet where you can buy eggs, sausages and tater tots by the pound. Tater tots! You can get an entire breakfast's worth for $3. Okay, maybe that wasn't the most important event.

Kate has moved into a house in columbia heights. I was pretty uncertain about the house and the neighborhood the first time I saw it, but seeing it again now I feel much better about it all. The house is old, but pretty nice. It's furnished, but sparsely so, and sorta reminds me of the old camp lodges at a summer camp. The neighborhood is a little sketchy but Kate is right on New Hampshire ave, which is well lit and I feel fine walking around there at night. I'm determined to move out of my kitchen-less apartment in October, and into something more suitable for working at home, but I'm still undecided as to where.

Also, the olympics are going on, but I don't care at all. People run/swim/etc, people win medals, 4 years pass. Rinse, repeat. Woohoo.

me: What do you think of the haircut? It's shorter than I usually get it.
(kate runs her hand through my hair)
kate: It's like a chia pet.
kate: (singing to the tune of the commercial's "cha-cha-cha-Chia!") Ja-Ja-Ja-Joseph!

Thursday, August 7, 2008


Today I forgot my umbrella in the metro. It's a little upsetting, but the thing only cost me $5 and I bought it 3 years ago. Also, it's not nearly half as nice as the umbrella I randomly found on the metro two years ago and now keep in my office for rainy afternoons. (In a slightly humorous story, it's exactly the same kind of umbrella that my co-worker lost on the metro the very same day. So he was kinda suspicious that it was his, but his name wasn't on it and I didn't give it to him.) Over all, I think I've gotten a good trade of the forgotten-umbrella culture.

Also today there was a beggar on the metro train yelling at the top of his lungs. "Anyone have 40 cents? 40 cents?" He just stood at the front of the train car yelling it. Some lady gave him some change and then the yell turned into "Anyone have 40 cent? This lady gave me 20. Anyone have 40 cent?" He also occasionally threw in a word that I don't think was English. It sounded like the Japanese word for Godzilla, "Giaka!" (note: looking at this later, Giaka apparently isn't the Japanese word for Godzilla at all. I just thought so from this scene in Rush Hour 2.) It was quite annoying. He yelled all the way from Shaw to L'Efant Plaza, when the train operator found out about it was said over the loudspeaker "Can someone please call out the transient on the train." I'm not sure what that meant, but the guy finally hopped off the train and we left him at L'efant.

(dan, in an email responding my question of which wii games he recommends)
Red steel was fun but i'd just wait for the second one (better control i'd assume) wario ware smooth moves is the perfect party game for the ladies (as well as big brain academy wii degree, you can see how stupid your lady friends are).

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

still more weddings

I spent a busy weekend out of town at Kate's brother's wedding. She thought that she was going to be busy and I was going to get bored sitting around, so I brought a bunch of movies to watch and my laptop to work on. But it turned out that I was pretty busy with things too. It was a fun time though. It's interesting to compare how she gets along with her extended family against how I get along with mine. Kate's mom thought I was a great dancer, though had Kate said that I had no rhythm only a few hours earlier. Truthfully, I'm probably closer to "no rhythm" than being a great dancer.

Today I've been looking through craigslist ads for a new apartment. I think this lack of a kitchen is finally starting to affect my health. And having laundry facilities nearby will be fun. My goodness, 1-bedroom apartments in dc are expensive right now. I wish we were college age again and all my friends weren't so committed to living alone. Anyone want to get an apartment?

This blog is the first google result for Banjolina Jolie. I am so popular... or maybe they're just unpopular.

(a user review, talking about submitting a faulty ASUS laptop for repair)
"They have variously promised to email and phone me about the status of getting the unit I purchased back to me. They have done neither. Calling their support phone lines brings no joy."

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

And people leave

Both Rav and Liza are leaving for NYC soon. Rav sent out a email of "small talk we would have made" with all his basic information, and Liza sent out a email saying "these are things you don't need to ask me because I'm tired of answering them". Both emails cite questions I've asked. I am such a typical, uncreative friend. Instead of the conversation being: "I'm going to NYC." "Oh, where are you going to live?" I should have said something more interesting. "I'm going to NYC." "Your mom is going to NYC!" No, no, that's too cynical and generic. I think I just don't have anything unique to contribute on a conversation about NYC. Well, once I went with my sister to a feminism art exhibit and saw some hardcore pornographic exhibits. It was interesting. No good advice here though, or good questions either apparently. What do you call someone who is neither knowledgable nor effective at obtaining knowledge? Dull might an appropriate word.

Every few months there's some jackass at work who thinks he's a big shot and wants to conduct a telephone interview with his phone on speakerphone. If Spittle was still around, I'd try to get his cooperation to walk by this guy's office while having a loud, inappropriate argument. Or we could just yell down the hall at each other. Seriously, how much crap are you juggling with your hands that you can't manage to hold onto the phone and save the rest of us a headache.

Tonight is Banjolina Jolie at Solly's! I'm happy that it's so close to my apartment this time.

(we all get a mass-email about this young-ish blond lady, who was brought in to advise management, is leaving the office to be a housemom for her new kid)
co-worker: I saw that lady at the Plaza Gourmet getting lunch one time, and she totally wanted me.
me: Yeah?
co-worker: She pinched my ass in the line. And then told me to get back to work.
me: Sexy.
co-worker: It was pretty hot.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

when it's time to party

I can't really talk much now because I have to work, but I was just sitting here in my office nursing a hangover, drinking coffee, and thinking this this monitor is way too big. It hurts my eyes just looking at it. Then I was wondering if there's ever been a study done comparing screen size to hangover headache intensity, and I found this pretty funny video. I like the quotes in the air when he saids "dual". It looks like he's for real (wikipedia says so anyway), it's not a satire of a geek like I was thinking.

Last night I went to my old officemate's housewarming party. We did some strange shots or fruity vodka dropped into redbull, which worked to wake me up for being social. And I tried to play some videogame where you sing into a mic and try to hit the right notes. I tried to sing "All the Small Things" and got my ass kicked by a girl. Sad because that song is sung by a man. Then there was a going away party for Liza, and I saw Shapanka and Maggie who had flown in, and Sonya who lives around here but I never see her. It was a lot of fun, though I stayed out too late and drank too much. Working today is going to be a challenge.

Captain Dwayne Hernandez: There's a man...he is perhaps Turkish. He is attacking you. In his left hand he holds a switchblade, in his right hand he is holding a plastic comb. You have one bullet in your revolver and you don't want to kill him. Where do you shoot?
Officer Garcia: Right in the nuts.

Friday, July 25, 2008

catching up

After Rachel's reminder, here is a blog update. Has it really been almost a month? Wow. I'm pretty busy this week, but I'll write something brief here.

My sister's wedding was fun. There was some worry that I would walk my grandfather to the front of the church but forget that I had to return to escort my mother to the front also. This would have ground the whole wedding to a halt as people panicked and tried to figure out how my mother could get to the front. But I remembered, and everything went off without a hitch. It was a pleasant reception, I talked to my relatives and a lot of family friends from home that I hadn't seen in a long time. They had this weird cucumber water, that wasn't my favorite. I took some pretty good photos on my phone, maybe I'll post them sometime (I have a few cousins on facebook who might be interested). I went out a couple times with one hs friend and I kicked my hs friend Dan's ass at tekken one night. It was a busy trip, like all wedding trips, but fun.

There was a small party at Eric's basement on my birthday and all sorts of people that I randomly know from different places showed up. All that was missing was someone from high school and the party would have been like a chronological record of my friends. My cousin and his wife showed up, and Chris Toombs and Leslie and a few other people that I don't see very often. They came in waves too, which was good because Eric's place wasn't big enough for everyone at once.

Rachel's birthday was yesterday, but she had a party last saturday for it, and I showed up there instead of to the other Joe Schell's birthday in Pennsylvania. I was really considering going to the other Joe Schell's, and I probably would have if it didn't mean skipping Rachel's party and a whole bunch of driving. But Rachel's was fun. Rocket bar is like 3 times as big as it was last year, which was surprising because it's in a basement. And Kate kicked my ass at skiball. I had proposed a doller per point difference before we played (because she was all cocky), but I'm glad I withdrew that. I would have owed her like $80. And I talked to Katie Tilly and Julie for a little while. And Elspeth was friendly, like she is about half the times I've talked to her. All in all it was a great party and I was feeling uncomfortable about going (like I often do before Rachel's parties) but I'm glad I did.

Last night I stayed up all night working at a computer game, so it's kinda screwing me today. Oh, I watched this old Sylvester Stalone movie called F.I.S.T. which sounds like a movie about brawling, but it's really a movie about the Teamsters Union's rise to power. It was pretty good, surprisingly. Stallone can be a good actor when the writing requires it.

I guess it's back to work for me.

(I'm walking down the street carrying two 18-packs of Miller lite for my birthday party)
street guy: Hey, where's the party?
me: Umm, there is no party. My girlfriend's an alcoholic.
street guy: Oh. I'm sorry.

Sunday, July 6, 2008


I just found a couple older versions of the blog on my computer at work here. I have the really old versions (from college) on cd, and most of the post-college, pre-blogspot pages on my laptop, but there are a few not on the laptop that I had thought were lost forever. The record is complete again. No, you don't get to see any of them.

Wednesday I fly to California for my sister Irene's wedding and I'll be back on the following Wednesday. I don't have much vacation time, so I'm going to be working 12 hour days until I leave, and then again when I get back. Probably won't be much blog posting until after next week. My subway and coffee diet is working pretty well. I should be okay in the suit.

Lately I've downloaded LackeyCCG, which is a computer interface for collectable card games, and been thinking about playing a little VTES or MTG again. It's nerdy but it's free! And kinda interesting when you have all these thousands of cards to play with. Yes, this blog just gained several levels of nerdiness. I'll try not to mention it again, don't worry.

(Kate is frustrated over trying to find a birthday present for me)
me: I'm hard to shop for. My cousins usually complain about drawing my name out of the hat.
Kate: What does that mean?
me: The hat for the gift exchange at Christmas.
Kate: Lucky me.
me: Lucky you?
Kate: Lucky that I'm your girlfriend. I get to draw your name every f-ing Christmas.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I was looking through the wii NES console games on wikipedia today because they're all $5. All except the original teenage mutant ninja turtles game, which is $6 for some reason.

I think TMNT was the first NES game I owned, and boy was it difficult. I could pass the swimming level without too much of a problem, and then the giant robot mouser boss was easy, but I think I beat the hideout level only once, and the technodrome was impossible. If you've beaten this game without cheating with codes or game genies, you're a better man than I.

I found a review of the DOS port of the game. The game was entirely re-done for DOS with different graphics and slight updates (you can't hide between the mouser's eyes anymore), and also, this one jump that the reviewer was extremely frustrated to discover (DOS screenshot on the left, NES screenshot on the right). On the NES you have lightly tap the jump button otherwise you get knocked into the water. I'm not sure what you'd do with that jump in DOS.

[Image unfortunately removed because the website got all bitchy about its bandwidth. But you can see the review and images here.]

I think I'm going to buy the new wii Dr Mario. I need to practice because Kate is way better than me.

(I'm thinking about my driving out to PA for the other Joe Schell's birthday)
rachel: whose bday in pa?
joe: the other joe schell
rachel: lol
rachel: you guys chat?
joe: not regularly
joe: eric thinks it's creepy, but it's not!
rachel: um yeah eric is right
joe: no no, it's totally normal
rachel: some girl just messaged me on facebook "hey my sister is rachel safran too"
rachel: i didnt write back

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

lazy.. and fat.

Decided to skip on the tailoring. So long as I don't get any fatter in the next week, I should be okay in this suit. I'm thinking of doing a litlte exercising just to be certain.. And not eating this entire cake that I bought at whole foods. Still fitting into the suit by Kate's brother's wedding at the end of the month is the bigger question. If only there was a Arthur M Rosenburg around here, I could get another nice suit, but it appears they died out sometime in the 60's in New Haven.

Also, Happy Birthday to Dave! Though I don't think he reads this. But if you know him then send him a Happy Birthday message.

(from an article about Ashton Kutcher's history in Hollywood, talking about the show "punk'd")
At the beginning of each episode, he gives a cocky to-camera address, revealing the vile, sniggering man-child behind the vile, sniggering man-child, and proving that success had not just gone to his head, but it was beginning to seep gelatinously from his eyeball cavities.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Busy weekend

Busy weekend. Kate visited, which was fun as always. She was sick so we didn't do any drinking, but we went to some Texas/NASA/Bhutan festival on the mall (where I found and claimed some pretty nifty sunglasses that a 10 year old had forgotten on a bench). Mostly we just wandered around Bhutan stuff for a while. We also walked around Columbia Heights and Southern Georgia Avenue a little, because Kate is getting a house out there. It was a warm weekend, not the best for walking around.

We were going to see Wall-e, but messed up the movie times (that's the story anyway) and we missed it. We watched the first disc of Weeds (okay show, but not very funny or very exciting otherwise, and I'm not sure why people really like it), the first disc of the Sopranos (again, not really all that funny, and the drama is very slow) and I probably won't watch more of either.

While walking through Columbia Heights, we stopped at Target for tissues and tupperware and I noticed they had a Wii in stock. So I bought it. The tennis is fun. Kate was upset that it can't tell the difference between a full tennis swing and a wrist swing. I do a little better than her when she does full swings and I move my arm as little as possible. I'm kind of disappointed that it doesn't ask you for an exact screen size, it just kinda guesses your screen size based on how far back you're standing. So it thinks my tv is smaller than it is because my couch is like 5 feet from the tv.

According to this site, I need to make a sensor bar that is 3.4 feet long. Shouldn't the sensor bar (which is really just a row of IR LEDs) be smaller, so that it thinks I'm further away than I am? I'll have to research this a little more.

Also I need to find a tailor for a suit this week. Somehow I've grown about an inch fatter since I last wore my suit. I need to start exercising.

(about the game Mass Effect)
"They managed to get a fairly diverse cast of actors to work on the game, and the main female character (thankfully) doesn't sound like a dumbshit bimbo like every other game in history. The voice modulation on certain alien species is fairly well done, and makes them sound different but not absurd. Of course, the actors are limited by the writing; no matter how well you say 'I think she's the right person to save the galaxy.' it's going to sound stupid."

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

more gunshots

At about 1:30 last night I heard gunshots from my bed. They were close too, probably within a block from me. I've been wondering, what is my obligation when I hear gun shots in the night? Should I look out the window and see if anyone is lying in the street, or just call the cops and say someone somewhere might have been shot? That seems like pretty useless information for the cops, though I'm certainly not going to go wandering out and investigating. It was two quick shots, so maybe it was an execution. One to the chest, one to the head. Well, instead of going to look I went back to sleep. Though I didn't sleep well, so maybe that's karma.

I just discovered that I would rather eat a banana with my right hand and awkwardly gimp around my computer using the mouse in my left hand than eat with my off-hand. Huh. You learn something new every day.

whitney: so. you want to send me a care package???
me: hmm, sure
whitney: LOL
whitney: loser

Sunday, June 22, 2008

no girls allowed

Today is the end of the quarter (in case you've been looking for me, I've been working), and usually I get myself a congratulatory present after the quarter rush. I couldn't think of anything that I wanted this time though, so I just kinda wandered around the mall. I went into Gamespot, looking for an old xbox game and was surprised to discover a whole bunch of girls in there. Apparently now with the wii, girls are getting more into the videogame scene. I thought about telling them that this was a men-only store, but I didn't. Then I found two old xbox games that I was kinda interested in playing, and they were less than $2 each, so I picked those up and brought them to the counter and the guy at the counter carded me! One of the games (Max Payne 2) was rated "mature" and he wasn't sure if I was 17 years old.

(review of a bean bag chair)
"So you finally get the chair set up and sit in it. It's wonderful. It's like... it's like sitting on a fat person. I've never sat on a fat person before, but I have to imagine this is what it's like... I even just slept the whole night on it a couple of times because it's just that comfortable. It could double as a guest bed. You could tell your friend it's a bed, and if they're a little bit of an idiot, they'll buy it."

Friday, June 13, 2008


My house fell within the power outage area this morning. I showered in the dark, and luckily the U street metro station fell just outside of the power outage so I had no issues there. I didn't notice the shaw metro being dark, but I had a book to read and wasn't paying much attention.

In other news NASA is feeling quite confident about everything, even though pieces are falling off their shuttle. Apparently that happens all the time. I'm probably not optimistic enough to be a NASA engineer.

(from a forum comparing Tekken Tag with Tekken 5: DR, lots of complaining about DR's over-reliance on juggles and wall-combos)
Watching DR matches is painful, after a [juggle] launch or getting backed into a wall it's like watching a dad beat up his 5 year-old son. You know unless the kid can crawl through his dad's legs to get away he's prolly gonna get KO'd.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


I did my laundry this morning so I got into work a little late. I grabbed a sandwich, sat at my desk and read the news while I ate. About half way through my sandwich I came to an article about the salmonella scare. My sandwich had a few slices of raw tomato. I had noticed that the guy behind me in line asking for no tomatoes but I just thought he was being an asshole. And Virginia is one of the states where poisonings have "cropped up" (though there are 9 states of primary concern and it's not one of those). So if I die of food poisoning any time soon, I want you to know it was from the Gallery Dream sandwich I got from the Gallery Cafe. Someone notify the FDA. That evil asian lady pretends to be so friendly while serving me poisoned tomatoes!

(An email from Dan after I told him he should purchase Tekken 5)
Bought it, goddam the last boss is a piece of shit, so far i hate the game and have forgotten all of my skills (not that they were the best to begin with). fucking god damn waste of $30. and online, i guess i was downloading something with caused serious lag and made my first online match a ass whooping. sons of bitches.

Monday, June 9, 2008

back and busy

Frustrated at work. Some brilliant coworker of mine thinks it's okay to walk up to the group printer and grab his printout from the stack while leaving everything else just sitting there. He must not understand that the printer offsets at every other printing and, if you just take one out of the mix, the printer will drop the next printout right behind the previous and nobody will find it. I just spent 10 minutes fishing through there trying to find my missing printout. I should wait in the print room someday. Bring in a newspaper and some coffee. Then when I see this guy snatch his printout off the top of the stack I'll be there to smack him over the back of the head with the paper and shout "Bad!"

I'm back from a fun time in Colorado (where it was warm, for once) and now have to do 200% at work. I also have to get up to NYC this weekend for my sister's art show, we'll see how I manage that. At least we're having a pleasant heatwave this week. 100 degrees today.

I have a caffine headache.

(an customer review of William Shatner's "The Transformed Man")
"The hallowed words of Shakespeare, Lennon-McCartney and Bob Dylan are trampled and tortured in Shatner's patented overripe acting style, turned up to eleven. Shatner's anguished cry of "Mr. Tambourine Man!!!!" at the end of that song is so unexpected and frightening, it would kill a strolling minstrel dead in his tracks."

Friday, May 23, 2008

Cleaning and Curb Your Enthusiasm

Last night I was sitting at my computer playing a game when I felt something on my arm. I gave a startled jump and looked down at my arm but there was nothing there. Thinking maybe it was the hood lace from my hoodie draped on the back of the chair, I sat back down and resumed my game. A few minutes later I glanced down at my shirt and see a cockroach run up the shirt and over the top of my shoulder.

I don't think I screamed quite like a girl, but there was definitely a yelp. I jumped up and yanked my shirt off faster than I ever had before. After killing the cockroach I held an emergency cleaning session in my apartment. I collected and took out all the trash last night and tonight I'll vacuum everything. Hopefully I won't have a recurrence.

I've been watching season 6 of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Some of it is great, some of it is a return to the rediculousness that turned me off to it in season 1. Like the time when Larry was telling his date about overhearing a racist comment in the bathroom, and as soon as Larry quotes the use of the n-word a black doctor walks by and totally freaks out. He screams for a few minutes at Larry and then storms off in a fit of rage, and shaves Jeff's head while he's anesthetized and awaiting operation. Later he apologizes to Jeff by explaining that he was driven into a frenzy from having heard Larry's racism, and then Jeff and his wife proceed to scream at Larry for what the doctor did. The whole thing was retarded and extremely far fetched, and slightly, dare I say it, racist. There's not a black person on that whole show who isn't a ticking time bomb just waiting to misconstrue anything Larry says and get horribly angry and then loud about it. On the other hand, everyone on that show is kinda loud.

There are other episodes in the season that are pure gold though. When Funkhouser discovers Larry stole flowers from Funkhouser's mother's roadside memorial and shouts, just before walking away, "If we weren't best friends I'd knock your teeth in!" And Larry turns to his wife and laughingly says "We aren't best friends, I don't know where he got that from." The whole separation thing is kinda depressing, but it could have been made much more so. And the actress who plays Xena Warrior Princess is surprisingly pretty hot. I think she's pretty disgusting on her tv show with the dark hair and American accent. But blond with an Australian accent she's quite attractive. Usually I don't go for accents either.

me: i was just skimming your facebook profile
me: not much has changed there recently
kate: I haven't been on facebook much
me: yeah
me: you're not cool like that
me: but that's okay
kate: I could put a photo up of me and one of my guy friends

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Banjolina Jolie and Tom

I saw the first Banjolina Jolie performance at Rustico last night. I got dinner there with Rachel first. The fries were good, the burger was okay, and it was all totally overpriced at $13. I think it's gotten significantly more expensive than the last time I ate there, and yesterday will probably be the last time I ever eat there again. No more Iron City beer, overpriced food, that place is going down hill.

The band was pretty good. I was a little far away because Rachel didn't want to stand too close. They played from one side of the bar and I was close to the middle of the room, so I was at the further end of those who could hear the band (they didn't have any electronic speakers or mics). Mostly I could just hear Eric singing and a little of the more rhythmic instruments. I'm not a big fan of their Blink 182 cover, but I enjoyed their William Shatner cover. I haven't heard any of Shatner's cds, so it was interesting. Maybe i'll find some of that stuff. You can't beat the Shat.

Tom visited last weekend from NYC because Dave is leaving this Friday. We had a poker game and I came in second (though I still lost $20 because I rebought in). Tom won the game, collecting like $60-$80. And we went out drinking, but it wasn't as fun as it might have been because I ate way too much food for dinner. At the end of the night we also got called "faggots" repeatedly by an angry drunk guy outside of Bar Pilar. I was going to kick some ass but the other guys dragged me away while Eric yelled "I love men!"

(Tom got married a year or two ago. Rav asked him how the married life is going)
Tom: Oh, it's great. I'm living the dream. I have to come home right after work and clean the apartment, but that's just part of life. She only yells at me sometimes. You know, you have your good days and your bad days. I cook a lot, I clean a lot, I wash things that... I didn't even know could be washed. The last time I had sex was 6 months ago. What month is this, April?
Rav: Haha, it's May!
Tom: Oh, no, the last time I had sex was 2 months ago. The doctor had put my wife on some heavy medication...

Friday, May 9, 2008


Bored at work today so I went on a blu-ray buying spree. I got:
Enter the Dragon (somehow I don't have the dvd of this, and the amazon reviewers say this is the best picture transfer yet),
Troy (I have the dvd of this, but the blu-ray has the director's cut and I thought the movie had some great photography. It should be good in hd),
Underworld (one of my favorite Bill Nighy roles, this is some kind of extended version that I don't have also), and
The Patriot (this movie is cheap because it was one of those that you could get for free if you ordered a ps3 early so there're lots of unappreciated copies out there. It's super long and extended, and I remember enjoying the original).

I also go Virtua Fighter 5, because after playing Tekken for a while I've gotten tired of being juggled by everybody and his mother and not being able to do anything about it. Seriously, it's so realistic. I know every time I watch a UFC match on tv one fighter will uppercut the other fighter into the air and then wail on him with a 6-hit combo before he falls to the ground. Happens all the time.

I thought about getting GTA 4, but I don't have enough time these days for that kind of game.

Finally I got a rice cooker. I'm tired of paying $6 per lb at the lunch buffet (and $9 per lb at Wholefoods!!) when 3/4's of my meal is rice. This thing is going to pay for itself in less than a month. The only trick is going to be washing it. I only have a bathroom sink.. I guess I'll be stopping by Eric's occasionally to wash it out.

Lest she think it's unimportant to me, last weekend Kate came down to dc to visit and I had a great time taking a long weekend off work and hanging out with her. She has some friends in the area so I met some of them. They're all so young and cheerful. Yep, they're new to the dc area.

Tomorrow is Reynoldstock!

(a guy in a forum comparing the story of GTA: San Andreas with GTA 4)
I'll admit that the story and missions of San Andreas could leave you with a nasty taste in your mouth, but this stems from the fact that you were playing as a punk ass no-balls bitch who, if I remember correctly, was raped by an ass-ugly chick in the country at one point.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Yours For Now in NYC, running through a downpour, and computer issues

I went to NYC last weekend, from thursday through saturday. It was a good time, I saw a bunch of cousins and a bunch of my sisters friends whose names I didn't remember, and probably won't remember again next time. That's the problem with having only met people when you're drinking. My brother in law Doug and his friend and my two cousins Brian and Linda are in a rock band up there called Yours For Now. And they were really good. I was expecting more garage-band level stuff, but they were like standard indy-band quality like you'd hear in a paid-for concert. Maybe some day they'll be my claim to fame, since Eric's musical aspirations have apparently petered out (I'm still uncertain about Banjolina Jolie, but that might be just because it's not my style of music).

I got dinner with Dave Saturday and tried to go to Kate's birthday at Marvin aftwards. On the walk to the bar it started raining, brewing itself into an unbelievable downpour in like 5 minutes so that we were half-soaked by the time we had run to the bar. When we got there Jamie gave a disbelieving "Is that the line!?!" A good 20-30 people were waiting outside in the rain to get into the bar. It was pouring down super hard, and most of these people didn't have umbrellas. In retrospect maybe I should have stuck around for the wet t-shirt contest which was sure to follow. But instead I huddled for a few minutes under a tiny overhang around the block with Dave and Jamie, and then ran home and worked on my computer for the rest of the night. But I finally fixed it.

The computer was doing this thing where it'd get about 1/3 of the way through installing Windows and then power shut off. I unplugged everything, tried installing on different hard drives, tried with different Windows cds, reflashed the BIOS, but nothing worked. I was confused becsause the computer had been working fine until I uninstalled Windows, so it didn't seem likely that it was a motherboard issue. I was frustrated for a while. Finally, Saturday night, on a whim I took out the second RAM chip, leaving only the primary, and then it miraculously installed smoothly. Apparently this motherboard can't cope with dual-channel memory without special windows-level driver software installed (I had assumed it'd be in the BIOS), and it can't just ignore the second memory either. Anyway. Now I just need to find the right driver for this onboard network card. I love how foxconn doesn't collect, mirror, or even link to the drivers you may need for their motherboards, they instead tell you to go hunt it down from the manufacturer. I don't even know who manufactured this thing. I'll figure that out later.

Maybe I should start tagging some entries "nerdy" or "computer" when I talk about that kind of thing. I know you're all anxious to get my collected technical wisdom onto a single page.

(from a netflix user review of Dead Man Walking)
Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn are sensational in the lead roles. (Sarandon won an Oscar and Penn wuz robbed). By the end of the movie, when you look at Susan Sarandon you see a nun, which is an achievement in itself.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

stormy sunday

Interesting article in the washington post today about John McCain's temper problem. Apparently he has a long history of blowing up and jumping to within an inch of peoples faces and screaming over political disagreements, in addition to trying to get people fired when they try to correct his facts. It all sounds a little immature for someone who is... no longer in high school. He will be a great president. Maybe this time I'll refrain from voting because I honestly don't like any of the candidates, instead of just because of my usual laziness. Though, to be fair, most of the events cited are from like 10-15 years ago. And 15 years ago I had temper issues too. He might have reformed since then.

Tonight I will reformat my computer. Somehow it picked up a virus. Though it still runs faster than my work computer. I wish I could kick every single one of the IT guys who has contributed to pushing software updates onto my computer square in the nuts.

(From a forum arguing about independent game reviews vs. professional game reviews)
"What constitutes a reputable source? A huge site paid for primarily by ads from game companies, and one that caters to players of every type? Or a site devoted specifically to RPG players and not audiences who also play sheepware like Madden and The Sims?"

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Had to wait 2 hours yesterday while my ps3 downloaded and installed a system update. First of all, I'm worried about the frequency of these updates. I just updated the ps3 last week, and it took 2 hours then also. Is this going to be a weekly event? I sure hope not. Secondly, why does it take so long? My computer can download an install an update in one tenth the time! The ps3 has some kind of bandwidth overhead issues. And third annoying thing: after running and installing the update they give the little notice about what features were updated. And the only feature listed with this one was the Sony Store. They updated the online store interface. Awesome. I couldn't play tekken online because my sony store wasn't quite up to date.

My sunburned face is peeling. I look like a lizard man.

(Comparing the "factory" star forge from KotOR and the Death Star)
"I feel that a factory is a better use for a giant space station then a super laser that destroys planets (seriously, what was the Emperor thinking when he heard Tarkins idea for that?). Seriously, what strategic value would the Death Star have? Now compare that to the value of an ever growing fleet that can still destroy a planet if it feels the need too. Oh and the Star Forge wasn't destroyed by 2 hits to a two meters wide hole. Oh and the Star Forge uses the force, something the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to."

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

cousins weekend

This entry is a little discombobulated because I'm not working today. I'm just back from cousins weekend in California. It was a fun time. It was later in the spring this year than most years, and the days were like 65 degrees. Snowboarding when it's warm out is the only way to go snowboarding. I only went snowboarding for a half day but that was enough for me. I'm still sore from it.

Hmm, there was lots of drinking. I ended up losing the game of Kings and had to drink the bowl of beer. It was 2 or 3 beers worth, but at least it wasn't a mixture of different drinks. Sometimes the Kings players pour in from whatever foul whiskey or voda or light beer or dark beer until what you have left is a barely drinkable alcoholic concoction. The bowl I drank just had Coors Light in it so it wasn't too bad. I accidentally napped through the poker tournament. That was a little disappointing.

At one point, early in the weekend, I asked my cousin Peter which kids were his. This is something I should know, but a few of my cousins have had a bunch of kids recently and I've only met like half of them. When I asked, Peter waded out into the crowd of running kids and came back with one on each arm. "Say hi to your uncle Joseph," he told them (they call us uncles and aunties even though technically I'm a first cousin once removed). Yes, I am a bad relative.

I'm watching the Kingdom of Heaven Director's Cut. I had to wait to watch it on blu-ray because I refuse to switch dvds mid-film (the directors cut is 2 dvds long). Such a great film, I don't know how people can dislike it. I think the only reasonable explanation is that some people just have bad taste in movies. It's definitely better than Almost Famous. Yes, it is.

me: yeah. well he was a little slow
ya, kinda retarded
wow so non-pc
africa has turned you vulgar
i know. what can i say?
do you spit when you're walking around also?
you don't need to feel bad, i'd start spitting if i lived in africa
ya, and i also pee anywhere i want.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Another day, another dollar

Someone upstairs is sneezing every 30 seconds. While I can empathize because I get allergies myself and I know it sucks to have a constantly runny nose and watering eyes, I wish he'd shut the hell up already.

Asian people are weird. I've noticed from sharing a work bathroom with them that a large minority of the time, when an asian guy is in there, at some point in the process of washing his hands he'll bring his face down to the faucet and spend 30 seconds alternating between splashing water on his face and drinking it. It's a little disturbing when you're trying to wash your hands in the next sink over. I always want to mention that there's a drinking fountain right outside the bathroom door, but I don't want to be considered rude. You never know, with these older asian guys, what's going to set them off. And I don't want to have to cut off any of my fingers, I use these to type! Okay, that last part may be slightly racist.

(One doctor's response to the American College of Physician Executives survey)
"I find it necessary about once every month or two to stay in bed for 24 to 48 hours. I do this on short notice when I get the feeling I might punch somebody.”

Saturday, April 5, 2008

review: Arcanum

Yesterday I spent a couple hours playing Arcanum. It's an older computer RPG that I had played a little of a couple years ago but then got bored of it. So I reinstalled it recently, and tried to play it yesterday. I remembered from my last try at the game that you don't want to play as a "technologist" unless you're in the mood for a frustrating experience lugging around lots of generally-useless junk looking for the perfect spring to complete your 19th century musket. Instead I played as a gnome magician, with some special background so that he was really ugly, but more intelligent. It sounded like a good choice for a magician- I wasn't going to be picking up chicks or trying to smooth talk shopkeepers so I didn't need to be good looking.

Most reviews praise the game's use of multiple dialgoue options depending on your character stats, but they apparently didn't try playing as an ugly character. Good God it sucked to be ugly in the renaissance age. Every shop I walked into I'd be greeted with "What do you want, assface?" Or "You're not welcome here." Nobody had any manners. I was paying customer! How totally unprofessional! What kind of person sees a poor, deformed man enter his shop and jacks his prices way up? I was forced to kiss everyone's ass for a few minutes every time I talked to them before they'd even sell me anything. Even the one follower I had who thought I was the reincarnation of a legendary hero could barely stand my presence. Forget that game.

Just got my ps3 today. It's taking like a half hour to update the software. There must be some kind of internal lag or filter inside the console because it's definitely not utilizing all my bandwidth here.

I'm watching My So Called Life. Love the narration, it's like listening to an emo high schooler's internal monologue.

kate: isn't it great that you have a girlfriend who loves to explore new things
kate: so you do by association
joe: yes, it is great
joe: secretly i've been wanted to see the cherry blossoms, but it's just too touristy for me to make time for myself
kate: are you being sarcastic or serious?
joe: haha
joe: a mixture of both
kate: you jerk
joe: i'm a complicated character
joe: my dialogue has many layers
kate: layers of jerk

Thursday, March 27, 2008

taxes and sickness

I thought I was getting a refund, but now it looks like I'm going to owe $350 to the government this year. I guess it's not as bad as the $900 I owed last year. And my state taxes are a mess. I need to find someone who can tell me whether my employer was paying taxes in DC or VA. The W-2 form I have isn't very helpful. Some how I doubt walking down to HR and shaking one of the employees there by the shoulders will get me any answers either. Oh well.

The weekend in the Colorado was lots of fun. I think the best part was when I politely refused any beverage from Kate's dad- Kate poured me a glass of water out of a bottle and casually told her dad "Joe doesn't drink tap water." Thanks Kate.

Doing lots of work this week. And I was sick briefly, but I think my superman's immune system kicked that sickness' ass in like 36 hours.

(Dan tells me that he uses his headset to talk yell at people when playing Call of Duty online)
me: you're probably one of those shrill talkers i hear about
Dan: no i'm not twelve
Dan: i did hear one kids mom yelling at him about going to bed then he yells back that is wasn't 10 yet, super funny

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


Saw this article in the washington post today. Then I went and found the girl on facebook.

Now I feel kinda guilty about spying on her. She seems like such a normal (somewhat wild) girl. I guess we all do stupid things sometimes.

Tonight I'm working late. Then heading out for a weekend in the mountains. Hopefully I won't get sick.

(whitney feeling confused about a doctor who said he liked her and then broke up with her)
whitney: why did i fall for this?
joe: you fell for the doctor act
whitney: yep.
whitney: i did. i liked making out with his stethoscope.
joe: yeah that sounds hot
whitney: we'd be watching a movie and he'd go get it.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Dave & Busters

Went to Dave & Busters with my cousin and his wife. I thought it was going to be a little awkward but it wasn't too bad. My cousin's wife is pretty funny- she likes star trek and video games. And my cousin is a priest, I think, but he likes playing the first person shooter arcade games.

First I rocked my cousin and his wife, and then some random dude and then the computer for a while at Tekken 4. I thought it was tekken 6, but it wasn't. Tekken 4 is the version I used to have for my ps2 and I won $75 playing in a tournament a few summers ago. My cousin's wife just wanted to play it when we got there, they didn't know I was good.. I think. After that I went on to figure out, much like that test in high school, what occupations I'd be good at and what I'd be bad at.

It turns out that I wouldn't make a good helicopter gunner. I wouldn't make a good motorcycle racer when the race track's path through the city is hard to discern (I ended up going the wrong direction more than a few times). I wouldn't make a very good navy battleship gunner. And I'm not a great sniper either. But it turns out I really missed my calling to be on a SWAT team. With a shotgun in my hands and kicking down doors and whatnot- I am unstoppable! Every terrorist who popped up got capped and the screen would say "Quick Shot!" for me. Because I am awesome. I totally rocked my cousin. And I accidentally shot a few hostages, but you can't bake a cake without breaking a few eggs. It's the price you (or in this case, the hostages) pay for these inhumanly fast reflexes. If only there was a SWAT team that was required to bust into places and shoot everything that moves. I'd be perfect for it.

This comic from penny-arcade is pretty funny. It's referring to a real court case.

(I'm not sure why, but this really cracks me up. Talking to Dan about combining dvd movies- it's a delicate art, not a science.)
me (3:40:24 PM): need some kind of umbrella menu so that the dvd player can figure out that there're 4 submenus
dan (3:41:14 PM): won't your x converter do that for you
me (3:41:29 PM): hopefully. i'm still installing it
dan (3:42:21 PM): watch your dvd player just spit the disc out and be like ah nigga please

Friday, March 14, 2008


I wish the lady at Subway wouldn't ask if I want cheese on my sandwich before she's even finished putting her gloves on. I walk up to the counter and say "I'd like a foot long turkey on Italian herb." She says "Okay, do you want cheese?" I always say yes, I want American cheese. And then, every time, she gets the bread, cuts it, puts on the turkey, and then asks me again "cheese?" EVERY TIME she does that. Why even ask the first time? Once, instead of pausing and saying "cheese?" she paused and said "Did you say provolone?" You know damn well I didn't say provolone. It doesn't make me super angry, just a little. And instead of yelling "Bitch, I just told you!" I bottle it all up inside and repeat my cheese selection. It'll be fuel for the fire on the day I blow a fuse and go crazy like the incredible hulk or Carrie from that movie Eric likes.

Interesting story in the washington post today about Eliot Spitzer as a tragic fictional character.

Kate says these posts are boring when they don't mention her. So hello, Kate. Look, no misspellings of "ridiculous" in this post.

That's all for now, I have to get back to work.

Kate: And, if you quote me saying that, I'm going to punch you the next time I see you.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

annoying coworkers

The guy next door is holding an attorney interview over his speaker phone. He's been talking loudly for the last 15 minutes. It really, really sucks for his officemate. At first I thought he was arguing with his officemate, and I was going to say "why is he yelling so much, nobody has an officemate so retarded that you need to lecture them for 10 minutes straight." But then I heard someone say something on the speaker phone. He's yacking with an attorney! Talk about inconsiderate. If my officemate tried holding a speakerphone interview I'd smack him over the head. I'm thinking about walking next door and kicking this guy's chair. Some people have no manners. And, no surprise, he's an Indian guy. jk.

I wish I didn't have to eat. I'm always just picking up steam with work or a project and I have to drop everything because I have to eat. I can't just idly skip meals either, I wish I could. After putting off lunch until like 3 or 4 I usually get kinda shaky. I should get an IV at my desk. That would be perfect.

Gah. A constant stream of noise from that office neighbor. Someone didn't get shaken enough as a child.

(Whitney is having a problem with getting to her money while she's in kenya. I recommend that she go back to the bank and have them exchange her a bunch of sheep instead of cash)
whitney: sheep. I'll do that.
me: i was going to say clam shells, but now i think that's native americans instead
whitney: well, i could always just steal
whitney: then I'd be culturally appropriate

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Whole Foods food

I picked up breakfast at whole foods this morning. Finding edible food at whole foods is really more of an art than a science. I used to go down there for lunch with my coworker Spittle, but he refuses to go now because every time we went he'd end up with something terrible. You have to have an acute sense of smell, like I do, to be able to guess what's going to be good. Or maybe it's my just having grown up around the Northern California hippies.

Today I'm not so lucky though and this morning's eggs and sausage are just okay. They didn't have the popcorn shrimp that I usually like in this buffet this morning. Not to be an over-taster, but the popcorn shrimp mixed with the spicy sausage jambalaya is pretty delicious. It's a litle spicy, but not too spicy. One of the few foods worth the rediculous $10 per pound or whatever rediculous price they're now charging. These eggs were a bad call. I guess it can't be sunny every day.

The lady in front of me in the checkout line paid $418 for her groceries. She had 2 carts full of food, but still, that seems like too much to be paying for food. Where do hippies get so much money? Definitely the highest grocery bill I've ever seen. Hopefully it'll last her a while. That's probably more than I pay in a month!

Today I'm going to be busy doing lots and lots of work.

(Gene Weingarten interviews Karl Savage, a high school English teacher from Silver Spring, who leads an international movement called the No Work on Leap Day Revolution. He thinks that the Februrary 29th that happens every 4 years is an extra, free day and we shouldn't automatically have to spend it working.)
Gene: I think there may be a logical problem with your suggestion that we're not paid for Leap Day.
Karl: Actually, I didn't do the math.
Gene: Me, neither. Two of the greatest mathematicians in the world did the math for me. Curtis McMullen at Harvard is a winner of the Fields Medal, which is math's equivalent of the Nobel. Terence Tao of UCLA won the Fields Medal and a MacArthur genius grant. I talked to both of them, and they both said that, mathematically, because most of us work for an hourly or weekly wage, most everyone is compensated for the extra day. Only people who are paid by the month lose a day's pay, but they're already getting overpaid in February, because it's so short.
Karl: Oh.
Gene: So.
Karl: But, see, this isn't the point. I'm not a mathematician, but I understand poetry. And there is an inscrutable logic to the fact that this day is extra.
Gene: Don't you mean immutable logic?
Karl: No, inscrutable. It can't be scruted.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

a coke catastrophe

Listening to Warp 11's song Section 31. It's sort of a imitation of the 007 theme, but with a trek twist. It reminds me of that Next Gen episode where the Klingons and the Federation are doing and officer exchange program to learn more about each other's cultures so they placed Riker as an officer on a Klingon ship and received a Klingon officer (who turns out to be Worf's brother) on the Enterprise. It was a great episode. The first thing Riker did when he got to the ship was beat up a huge Klingon soldier who was questioning his authority, because that's what Klingons do. Then there was some emergency and Riker ended up totally taking command of the Klingon ship and saving the Enterprise. The Klingon crew totally respected him by the end of the episode and Piccard was all startled when he thought the Klingon ship might attack them so he hailed the ship and Riker showed up on the view screen sitting in the captain's chair and smirking. Such a great show.

I was just listening to Lewis Black while I did some work, and drinking a coke with my feet up on my desk at the same time. Apparently it's a bad combination because Lewis Black said something really funny and I started laughing with coke in my mouth. With my laidback posture I somehow enhaled it all. Next thing I know I'm doubled over coughing up coke onto the office floor and gasping for air. Got coke all over my pants and shirt too. I was gasping for a good 30 seconds. My officemate was worried he was going to have to come over and perform the hemilich maneuver, something I'm glad he didn't try to do.

(from a forum about the movie "Meet the Spartans". A sequel to "Epic Movie" and even the preview looks horrible)
"The only good that will come from this movie is that it will herd anyone dumb enough to pay to see it into a single area (the theatre) so that we can plan for extermination."

Monday, February 25, 2008

catching up

Okay, I just down'd a cup of coffee so I'm all hyped up this afternoon. First some work stuff because I'm thinking about it: I think I'm gonna reject this case, but I know for a fact that the guy will appeal it if I do. So I have to balance how embarassing I'm willing to look infront of my supervisor against whether I'm technically correct for this case. My reference has a computer technican doing a bunch of the work and I'm not completely sure whether the reference works as a "diagnostic engine" without the technican helping it along. I know for a fact that the attorney is going to write into his appeal something snide to the effect of me trying to bring back slavery by including the person in this patented computer system. ("The examiner contends that the technician is part of the claimed computer system. Perhaps the examiner is expecting the technician to be black?" Hardy har har.)

Went to a party at Eric's on friday. It was a pretty good time. I was worried at first because it was just me, Eric and Jason. And Jason is the only one of Eric's friends who I absolutely dislike. But more people showed up and it was fun. Jamie gave me a nice lecture about how real men drive cars. (Unlike myself.) Other than that it was a quiet weekend of mostly playing videogames instead of doing the work I should be doing. Bad time management, but it was worth it! I got a sword of fire+3!!!! Haha, just kidding.

The weekend before last I went out to Colorado, and I meant to write about it but never got around to it last week. It was lots of fun though and the weather was very reasonable. Very reasonable in that it wasn't super freezing cold and snowing the entire time I was there. Kate and I saw the Spidewick Chronciles, which she thought was good but I was annoyed by the main kid actor. It's funny, I thought both the brother actors were about equally annoying, and then I read just now that it was one actor playing both brothers. Surprise. Annoying Brit kids... My second cousin's name is Brit, btw, and he is so much cooler than any of the real Brits. Nick Nolte was pretty good as the creepy, raggedy ogre-man.

Let's see, we also went to a hockey game. My first hockey game, and felt like I was about to fall down the bleachers anytime I stood up because we were so high up and the seating was so vertical. The local team (the avalanch?) got slaughtered, and all the local fans were kinda depressed, but I got a big plate of nachos and a pretty good hot dog. It was better than a baseball or basketball game, and about on par with a football game (there were more fights in the hockey game, but much more heckling at a Raiders game). As a side note: Kate's sister, who took us to the game, is really quite funny.

Finally, Kate helped me pick out a pair of jeans. I don't have any other jeans and haven't shopped for them in years because they never seem to fit correctly. Kate liked a pair that were tighter than any other pants I own, so I'm mostly only going to wear them around her I think. She's going to be upset when she reads that, but look I just said "mostly"! I might wear them around dc but, even if not, it was a purchase that will be very useful for Colorado. Last thing: airport security likes my shirts. I've gotten like 3 compliments now. Twice for Eeyore and now once for "I slept with Kirk". If only I was looking to pick up nerdy airport security girls.

Kate: Don't make fun of me.. I bought the exact same pair of shoes that I had before.
me: I did the exact same thing a little while ago!
Kate: Yeah, but my shoes are cute.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


It's Sunday and I'm in the office. That's not the worst part though. The guy in the office nextdoor is also in, and he's spent the whole 3 hours i've been in here yelling on the phone. Jeez, enough already. Can't you confine the yelling to regular business hours? I didn't come in here to listen to your domestic squabbling on the phone. Silly new employees. I may be argumentative, but at least I don't resort to yelling louder to make my points. You all can thank me for that later. Time to turn on some loud Me First.

(a viewer's review of "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale", a videogame-based film that has gotten universally negative reviews. Uwe Boll, the director/producer, likes to take videogames and make horrible movies out of them.)
"I went to this movie expecting the worst. Because of Uwe Ball's previous work I was a little hesitant. Oh how I was wrong! The story is about a man named "Farmer" who has to run around all day killing people to save his beloved wife. Oh how he loves her so very much! You will never forget the courage, the bravery, the love in this film. Not to forget the special effects and dramatic action! Uwe Bell has truly changed the way I will look at life, and I'm certain he will do the same for you. Hollywood will change because of this film. The impact it has on you, oh dear lord thank you, thank you for everything! Be sure to take all your friends and loved ones to see this movie, I'm sure after the 2 hours 30 minutes they will thank you."

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Eventually I would get tired of talking about Nazis

Today I sat behind a bunch of chicks on the metro who were babbling on in German or Dutch or something. They weren't abnormally tall or putting on totally weird foreign facial expressions or anything (as foreigners often do), they just seemed like normal college girls who just happened to be speaking German. Had they not been talking, I would have said they were very borderline hot or not-hot girls. The "I could go either way" type. So I spent the whole train ride leering at them and considering whether the foreign language pushed any of them over the edge into being definitely attractive or unattractive. I decided it was closer to unattractive. Sorry German-speaking chick readers.

(from a viewer's review of "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale")
"It was all right, if you're in an undemanding mood. The dialogue was awful. Scenes where a mother was told her child and parents had just been killed and the death of the King in particular produced howls of laughter, which I don't believe was the intended effect."

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Last night my metro train arrived early and I missed it. Sometimes the train is like 3 or 4 minutes late, and that's kinda annoying when it's 30 degrees out. But yesterday it arrived 2 minutes early, which I didn't realize before is so much worse than arriving a little late. If I had seen it coming sooner I might have been able to sprint to the station to catch it., but when I saw it coming I thought it must have been the other train so I didn't run. It should have sat at the station for 2 minutes just to get on schedule. You can't just go flaunting the official webpage like that. I should have complained.

Also last night I skype-chatted with Whitney. She seems to think the skype will work in Africa when she won't have a phone, so I bought a webcam and we spent about an hour making funny faces at each other. She's going to see Flogging Molly with her boytoy doctor date later this week. I haven't been to a concert in a long time, and to a good mosh pit in even longer.

Tonight I'm getting Riconcito with Rav and Dave. And I still haven't finished this stupid case...

(the call's picture and sound dies while Whitney is making funny faces)
me: You killed the video feed!
Whitney: My face killed it.

Monday, January 28, 2008


I drove up to nyc with Dave this weekend. It was pretty fun. We went bowling and I bowled terribly. I'm not sure if it was because of the loud dance music, the lack of a comfortable bowling ball, the disco lighting, or the pressure of having $10 on the line, but for some reason I scored like 75, then 105 and then 110. I can't remember the last time before then that I didn't break 100. Something clearly wasn't right. Maybe I snapped under the pressure, but I don't think that's very likely. Oh well.

Then after bowling we went to a diner for food, and afterwards I wandered off on my own and got lost of the subway system. Not really lost, but I forgot I had to transfer, and I was very tired (and a little drunk) so I sat on the train and waited for my stop to come, but it never did. After maybe and hour on the train I went over to the map and discovered I had waaay overshot my transfer stop. I got off the train, waited like 30 minutes for the train going the opposite direction, and then road that back to my transfer point. Then I took a taxi because I didn't feel like waiting another 30 minutes. Only about 2 hours wasted wandering the subway in the middle of the night. We didn't even see Teeth, though I tried to convince Dave to go (Lauren hadn't heard of the movie and I didn't feel like describing it to her).

(trying to convince Dave to see Teeth with me)
dave: I don't want to see that!
me: It's gotten good reviews! Just read an online review of the movie before you say no.
dave: I don't even want that in my internet stream!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

some future-officemate gossip and musings about having nothing in common with girls

Saw my future officemate's profile on facebook. He sure has his shirt off in a lot of photos, I hope he's not some frat-type guy. And he's an electrical engineer working in GUIs, which seems strange. Hopefully he knows about GUIs because I won't be much help in that. Someone was just in here setting up the computer he'll be using. I asked if the ergonomic keyboard he was getting is standard issue now, and the guy said "I dunno, it's all I could find so I'm installing it." I guess he'll get used to it. I thought about taking his computer's speakers but I think I actually like mine more. Well, according to our online system, he's moving in tomorrow.

The metro driver this morning wouldn't stop babbling. He carefully explained all how to transfer to the different lines, what important stops we'd be making on the way to Huntington, what the current time ways, all sorts of extra stuff. I was a litle irritated.

Yesterday I talked to Kate about how little we have in common. We don't really have all that much in common (we like the same cereals), but it doesn't bother me. I mean, today I like Star Trek and I could go out and try to find a trekkie girl. I mean she sounds kinda cool now, but tomorrow I might like Star Wars instead, and I'm certainly not going to be dating any trekkie girl when I'm a Star Wars fan! She'd be such a hopeless nerd! I suppose what I'm saying is that people change, and liking someone because they happen to agree with all your tastes is a sure route to disliking someone (or just being bored) in the future.

Besides, it's best not to have too much in common with girls, then you're not tempted to try to understand their strange ways. Like it says in the Bible: "When you come into the land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations." Yep, it's talking about the women-folk.

(Spittle sees a photo of me wearing a "Go Vegan or Die" shirt)
Spittle: You're not a vegan joe.
me: I know I'm not.
Spittle: Are you going around lying to girls?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sweeny Todd in the mountains

I had a very fun MLK weekend out in the mountains. It's freezing cold out there but pretty quiet, sort of like living in a ski resort town. And nobody up there has heard of the movie Tron. My shirt got blank look responses. Kids these days have no respect for history.

I saw Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. It started a little slow, but then picked up speed about 20 minutes in. The unusual combination of Johnny Depp's cheerful song and the the montage of him systematically cutting people's throats and dropping the bodies down a shoot so they fall on their heads made the scene pretty funny in a morbid way. Kate was pretty disturbed and I probably wouldn't sit through it again, but we all thought it was very well done movie. I'm getting the soundtrack.

My new officemate's name is on the door. Grant Johnson. He sounds like a president... I guess it's a very caucasian name. He doesn't have a computer or supplies in here yet, so he probably won't show up until late this week. Maybe Friday. Then I'll have to be a role model. No more naps. I'm planning on laying out some ground rules as soon as we meet. I'll let you know how it goes. He works in GUIs, which sounds like a stupid thing to have a patent on, but whatever.

In other news, Eric got punched in the side of the face while walking to a party near Potomac Avenue metro this weekend. He told me about it last night. A bunch of guys were going to rob him or worse, but he managed to run away after getting hit. I'm not sure what factors are to blame, but generally I'd say don't walk around SE at night, don't walk around sketchy places while wearing your headphones listening to music, and keep an eye out. But any number of things, including bad luck, probably contributed to Eric's incident. My coworker Spittle would say this is why we all need to carry guns. He's a moron about some things.

(about the nicer local restaurants and their dress codes)
Kate: They're not really fancy. Just fancier than you can get into wearing your ringer.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

because someone has to think about it

I don't really mind sitting next to fat people on the metro. They always sit on the ends of my coat because they overflow their seat, but that's alright. I can accept that some people just don't like standing and it doesn't bother me when people sit next to me.

What does kinda bother me is when fat women sit next to me and we're going over the bridge over the Potomac. I always think, "What if there's some kind of accident and the train derails into the water?" Julie probably started me worrying about that, because I never did until she suggested it. If my train does derail, I tend to think that I'll be okay. The bridge is probably only like 20 feet above the water and the fact that it can't all derail at once means that it won't be a straight drop. In fact, we'd probably hit the water relatively softly. Then it'd be every man for himself, and I can hold my breath and swim pretty well, and chances are decent that I'd be alright.

Now put an overweight older lady next to me. It's a well studied fact (I know from seeing many movies) that in an emergency she's either going to pass out and trap me against the wall, or latch onto me and start wailing in panic. When your vehicle goes into the water pretty much ever second counts, you want to get out before you sink too deep. I bet the time spent trying to either detach the wailing old lady ("You're never going to make it, Granny!") or else lever her unconscious mass out of the seat enough for me to squeeze out, those wasted seconds at least halve my odds of surviving.

Just something to keep in mind.

me: You haven't seen many movies. But that's okay, nobody's perfect.
Kate: I don't have as much free time as you.
me: You usually get out of work around like 5:30. Where does all your free time go? Do you have a hobby I don't know about?
Kate: A hobby? Yeah, my hobby is another man.
(that would be both hilarious and sad if it was Kate's break up technique. But I don't think it is.)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Townsville, Australia

My newest hobby for spare time at work is to look for cities with the best weather. The problem with most places is that it's either too cold in the winter (getting below the 50 is problematic) or too warm in the summer (above the mid-80's is uncomfortable). The only exceptions I've found so far are in Hawaii and Southern California. Hawaii is probably too isolated for me though, and Southern California is so crowded and expensive and I'm not sure if I approve of that whole OC culture. Today I was examining a weathermap of Australia. Most of it looks too warm, and the south-east is too cold, but Townsville looks promising. It's on the coast in the north-east . It only gets down to the mid 50's and up to the mid-80's. Maybe I'll retire there. Though I'd have to start thinking in celsius... and learn to get along with a bunch of descendents of criminals. People for whom crime is in the blood. Hopefully they'll give me a permit to own a gun. It's a good thing I can look like a thug when I need to.

(Yesterday I called my dad)
me: Hi Dad.
dad: Hi Joseph.
me: Happy Birthday!
dad: Hahahaha. Okay, we'll write you back into the will.
me: Yeah. Wait, what?
dad: You know when my birthday really is, right?
me: Shoot, is it tomorrow? I thought it was today.
dad: Haha. It's January 3rd.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

napping in an office chair

Not that I ever nap in the office, but I've independently discovered that napping on an office chair that's similar to my office chair leads to very strange dreams. When you lean my office chair back, it tilts back somewhat awkwardly such that your head and shoulders are leaning a little further back than is comfortable and it takes a lot of effort to lift yourself out of the chair. It's probably harder to pick yourself up when you're lying down flat and napping, but at least when you're lying down you can roll onto one side. You can't really move at all in my chair. Anyway, often in my napping dreams, in this chair very similar to my office chair, I dream that I'm lying in a chair and am either paralyzed or heavily medicated and can't lift myself out of the chair. It's a very strange experience. It's not frightening or anything, but a little distressing at the time and later on I always wonder if I was really half-awake and trying to rock myself out of my chair. You all should try it sometime.

Nice weather today, and again I'm leaving early. I've worked 7 hours so far this week.

Charlie: So how did you meet her?
(Charlie was asking me, but Spittle jumps in as though the question was addressd to him)
Spittle: He met her on World of Warcraft! Joe saw her riding on a bearded dragon mount and told her "Wouldn't you rather be riding a Joe Schell?"