Thursday, March 27, 2008

taxes and sickness

I thought I was getting a refund, but now it looks like I'm going to owe $350 to the government this year. I guess it's not as bad as the $900 I owed last year. And my state taxes are a mess. I need to find someone who can tell me whether my employer was paying taxes in DC or VA. The W-2 form I have isn't very helpful. Some how I doubt walking down to HR and shaking one of the employees there by the shoulders will get me any answers either. Oh well.

The weekend in the Colorado was lots of fun. I think the best part was when I politely refused any beverage from Kate's dad- Kate poured me a glass of water out of a bottle and casually told her dad "Joe doesn't drink tap water." Thanks Kate.

Doing lots of work this week. And I was sick briefly, but I think my superman's immune system kicked that sickness' ass in like 36 hours.

(Dan tells me that he uses his headset to talk yell at people when playing Call of Duty online)
me: you're probably one of those shrill talkers i hear about
Dan: no i'm not twelve
Dan: i did hear one kids mom yelling at him about going to bed then he yells back that is wasn't 10 yet, super funny

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


Saw this article in the washington post today. Then I went and found the girl on facebook.

Now I feel kinda guilty about spying on her. She seems like such a normal (somewhat wild) girl. I guess we all do stupid things sometimes.

Tonight I'm working late. Then heading out for a weekend in the mountains. Hopefully I won't get sick.

(whitney feeling confused about a doctor who said he liked her and then broke up with her)
whitney: why did i fall for this?
joe: you fell for the doctor act
whitney: yep.
whitney: i did. i liked making out with his stethoscope.
joe: yeah that sounds hot
whitney: we'd be watching a movie and he'd go get it.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Dave & Busters

Went to Dave & Busters with my cousin and his wife. I thought it was going to be a little awkward but it wasn't too bad. My cousin's wife is pretty funny- she likes star trek and video games. And my cousin is a priest, I think, but he likes playing the first person shooter arcade games.

First I rocked my cousin and his wife, and then some random dude and then the computer for a while at Tekken 4. I thought it was tekken 6, but it wasn't. Tekken 4 is the version I used to have for my ps2 and I won $75 playing in a tournament a few summers ago. My cousin's wife just wanted to play it when we got there, they didn't know I was good.. I think. After that I went on to figure out, much like that test in high school, what occupations I'd be good at and what I'd be bad at.

It turns out that I wouldn't make a good helicopter gunner. I wouldn't make a good motorcycle racer when the race track's path through the city is hard to discern (I ended up going the wrong direction more than a few times). I wouldn't make a very good navy battleship gunner. And I'm not a great sniper either. But it turns out I really missed my calling to be on a SWAT team. With a shotgun in my hands and kicking down doors and whatnot- I am unstoppable! Every terrorist who popped up got capped and the screen would say "Quick Shot!" for me. Because I am awesome. I totally rocked my cousin. And I accidentally shot a few hostages, but you can't bake a cake without breaking a few eggs. It's the price you (or in this case, the hostages) pay for these inhumanly fast reflexes. If only there was a SWAT team that was required to bust into places and shoot everything that moves. I'd be perfect for it.

This comic from penny-arcade is pretty funny. It's referring to a real court case.

(I'm not sure why, but this really cracks me up. Talking to Dan about combining dvd movies- it's a delicate art, not a science.)
me (3:40:24 PM): need some kind of umbrella menu so that the dvd player can figure out that there're 4 submenus
dan (3:41:14 PM): won't your x converter do that for you
me (3:41:29 PM): hopefully. i'm still installing it
dan (3:42:21 PM): watch your dvd player just spit the disc out and be like ah nigga please

Friday, March 14, 2008


I wish the lady at Subway wouldn't ask if I want cheese on my sandwich before she's even finished putting her gloves on. I walk up to the counter and say "I'd like a foot long turkey on Italian herb." She says "Okay, do you want cheese?" I always say yes, I want American cheese. And then, every time, she gets the bread, cuts it, puts on the turkey, and then asks me again "cheese?" EVERY TIME she does that. Why even ask the first time? Once, instead of pausing and saying "cheese?" she paused and said "Did you say provolone?" You know damn well I didn't say provolone. It doesn't make me super angry, just a little. And instead of yelling "Bitch, I just told you!" I bottle it all up inside and repeat my cheese selection. It'll be fuel for the fire on the day I blow a fuse and go crazy like the incredible hulk or Carrie from that movie Eric likes.

Interesting story in the washington post today about Eliot Spitzer as a tragic fictional character.

Kate says these posts are boring when they don't mention her. So hello, Kate. Look, no misspellings of "ridiculous" in this post.

That's all for now, I have to get back to work.

Kate: And, if you quote me saying that, I'm going to punch you the next time I see you.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

annoying coworkers

The guy next door is holding an attorney interview over his speaker phone. He's been talking loudly for the last 15 minutes. It really, really sucks for his officemate. At first I thought he was arguing with his officemate, and I was going to say "why is he yelling so much, nobody has an officemate so retarded that you need to lecture them for 10 minutes straight." But then I heard someone say something on the speaker phone. He's yacking with an attorney! Talk about inconsiderate. If my officemate tried holding a speakerphone interview I'd smack him over the head. I'm thinking about walking next door and kicking this guy's chair. Some people have no manners. And, no surprise, he's an Indian guy. jk.

I wish I didn't have to eat. I'm always just picking up steam with work or a project and I have to drop everything because I have to eat. I can't just idly skip meals either, I wish I could. After putting off lunch until like 3 or 4 I usually get kinda shaky. I should get an IV at my desk. That would be perfect.

Gah. A constant stream of noise from that office neighbor. Someone didn't get shaken enough as a child.

(Whitney is having a problem with getting to her money while she's in kenya. I recommend that she go back to the bank and have them exchange her a bunch of sheep instead of cash)
whitney: sheep. I'll do that.
me: i was going to say clam shells, but now i think that's native americans instead
whitney: well, i could always just steal
whitney: then I'd be culturally appropriate

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Whole Foods food

I picked up breakfast at whole foods this morning. Finding edible food at whole foods is really more of an art than a science. I used to go down there for lunch with my coworker Spittle, but he refuses to go now because every time we went he'd end up with something terrible. You have to have an acute sense of smell, like I do, to be able to guess what's going to be good. Or maybe it's my just having grown up around the Northern California hippies.

Today I'm not so lucky though and this morning's eggs and sausage are just okay. They didn't have the popcorn shrimp that I usually like in this buffet this morning. Not to be an over-taster, but the popcorn shrimp mixed with the spicy sausage jambalaya is pretty delicious. It's a litle spicy, but not too spicy. One of the few foods worth the rediculous $10 per pound or whatever rediculous price they're now charging. These eggs were a bad call. I guess it can't be sunny every day.

The lady in front of me in the checkout line paid $418 for her groceries. She had 2 carts full of food, but still, that seems like too much to be paying for food. Where do hippies get so much money? Definitely the highest grocery bill I've ever seen. Hopefully it'll last her a while. That's probably more than I pay in a month!

Today I'm going to be busy doing lots and lots of work.

(Gene Weingarten interviews Karl Savage, a high school English teacher from Silver Spring, who leads an international movement called the No Work on Leap Day Revolution. He thinks that the Februrary 29th that happens every 4 years is an extra, free day and we shouldn't automatically have to spend it working.)
Gene: I think there may be a logical problem with your suggestion that we're not paid for Leap Day.
Karl: Actually, I didn't do the math.
Gene: Me, neither. Two of the greatest mathematicians in the world did the math for me. Curtis McMullen at Harvard is a winner of the Fields Medal, which is math's equivalent of the Nobel. Terence Tao of UCLA won the Fields Medal and a MacArthur genius grant. I talked to both of them, and they both said that, mathematically, because most of us work for an hourly or weekly wage, most everyone is compensated for the extra day. Only people who are paid by the month lose a day's pay, but they're already getting overpaid in February, because it's so short.
Karl: Oh.
Gene: So.
Karl: But, see, this isn't the point. I'm not a mathematician, but I understand poetry. And there is an inscrutable logic to the fact that this day is extra.
Gene: Don't you mean immutable logic?
Karl: No, inscrutable. It can't be scruted.