Saturday, October 1, 2011

I'm watching The Family Stone. It's sorta like Meet the Parents except the family is super liberal and the guest girl is very up tight. I saw it in the theater with my family 5 years ago and enjoyed it then. Upon a second watching I'm not so sure.

The family in this movie is ridiculous. The mother tells one son that this year's Christmas will not be clothing-optional because they have guests. Umm, gross. Thank goodness. There's an 8 year old granddaughter walking around and you're going to have a clothing optional Christmas?? And then the mother makes condescending remarks about their guest being silly when she says she'd be uncomfortable sharing a bed with her boyfriend in the boyfriend's parents' house. Have a little empathy. I've never met a family that gossips and makes fun of someone behind their back to this extent. Even the grandparents in this family are like little kids.

Sarah Jessica Parker does make some bad moves. She stiffly holds out a hand to everyone she meets like it's a diplomatic event. She speaks really loudly at the deaf brother (though to be fair, I'd probably just not talk to him because that'd be so easy to mess that up). And she makes an insensitive comment about gay parents hoping for straight kids. She immediately starts backpedaling afterwards but that doesn't work. This would cause a awkward silence at most tables, and the gay son was a bit offended, but instead the grandparents start yelling. Sarah Jessica Parker keeps trying to backpedal until finally grandpa bangs his hand on the table for silence. This whole family is out of control.

I don't think my dad has ever banged his hand on the table, actually I can't even remember a time that he's yelled because he was angry. Maybe that's why I have so little patience for impotent outbursts of anger. I'll tell you right now, if anyone ever bangs their hand on the table, I am out of there. I will not be bullied into silence by anyone's childish hand banging. Well, I guess I would be, but I would also immediately leave in silence. Always have an exit strategy.

(talking about the groom's brother at a wedding. I'd been the only one to meet him.)
Lauren: Is Dave short?
me: Umm, he has the proportions of normal man.
Kristen: What, you mean he's not a hobbit?

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