Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Let me start by saying that I'm not super picky about my friends. I'm usually not all that judgmental and I don't think you need to have the same tastes or a super similar personality to be my friend.

That being said, I'm unfriending someone today for the first time ever. It's this dude-bro I met on craigslist. I don't have a lot of local guy friends and he wrote an ad saying that his guy friends were all busy with relationships so he was looking for some normal guy friends to just hang out. I wrote back saying how normal I am (and I am very normal) and he responded "you sound cool. what's your facebook?" Next thing I know, I'm facebook friends with a d-bag frat guy. He writes in slang and every single one of his photos is of him with a slightly unbuttoned shirt posing with either alcohol or bar girls. His favorite tv show is Entourage and his favorite book is, and I quote, "Does Men's Health Magazine Count?" This isn't a real person, this is a compilation of two dimensional characters from teenage comedy movies. Unfriended.

JP Blackford (the old GTA from my probability class at GWU, who is strangely facebook friends with Mark, Kate's sister's boyfriend) fell for it too. He was this guy's other new friend for like a day before one of them unfriended the other.

(Eric and I are driving behind Dave in his newly bought used car)
me: do we still need to pick up beer?
Eric: I don't know. Maybe we're stopping.
me: Or maybe Dave forgot.
Eric: Call and ask.
(I call Dave's cellphone)
Huyen: hello.
me: hi Huyen? It's Joe. Are we stopping along the way for beer?
Huyen: umm. yes.
me: Also, did you guys know that your car is leaking oil out the bottom?
Huyen: what?
me: (I repeat it but Eric starts laughing and drowns me out)
Huyen: Umm...
(a few seconds later)
Dave: hello, Joe?
me: oh Dave, I was just asking whether we were going to stop for beer.
Dave: yeah we'll stop at a place. Like 10 minutes.
me: okay. Also, did you know that your car is leaking oil all over the road?
Dave: what?
me: Did you know that your car's leaking a stream of oil?
Dave: what?
me: (loudly) Did you know that your car is leaking oil!
(moment's pause)
Dave: this is a terrible practical joke that isn't working at all.

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